Thank you for reading about me,
I am an 24- F.
This is some information about my current situation with my mother. I don’t have strength right now.
I need to move on my own but money is so hard right now, I just started a new job recently.
I was living on my credit cards after my savings ran out. I am paying the bills off now before I could even move.
Three years ago, we were looking for a place to live since we were staying on a rented bedroom and the lease was up. My mother had me going to all these open houses on the extreme heat and I was sick from an infection.
She never liked any of the places I saw.
I got sick and tired and told her i was going to go on my own and i called all my relatives to let them know why I was leaving so she couldn’t twist it.
They told me that im ungrateful, dramatic , and rude to want to leave her and if something happens to her its on me.
I stayed because she acted like she was going to get a heart attack AFTER letting me walk out with all I owned while she laughed at me because she knew I had nowhere else to go.
I ended up at one of her friend’s house because she kept insisting I had to stay somewhere “safe”. She offered me to buy a foldable bed and sleep on her kitchen while her drug addict boyfriend spied on me all night.
During that time, my mom didnt want to speak to me “because I went to someone else’s house that I liked more”. She never considered my safety, and even at that point I was the one in the wrong.
Fast forward to now, I do most of the cooking bc she won’t properly feed herself and has health conditions( I have to care more about her than her own self while she plays the I am sick, life did this to me, no one loves me).
She will only cook for my male siblings when they come over, but thats another topic.
I clean too but that’s not enough. I am not good for anything, and she calls me piece of SHIT all the time. ￼
Now, I don’t have savings anymore and my job doesn’t pay enough. I am looking for additional employment.
This situation is SO mentally taxing. I can’t sleep properly, and I don’t even care about eating. I’ve been THIS close to wanting to give up in life. I have no support system.
She also hoards a lot, I don’t have space to live like a regular person in my own home. She’s not an extreme hoarder, but she just disrespects our home and will bring whatever she wants from outside without cleaning it most times.
She promised when we moved that she’d respect the space and try to be a better human but she just moved her stuff around and never got rid of it.
I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and the situation at home really triggers me. I also have depression, PSTD from past sexual abuse from my bio father (yes, my mother doesn’t remember apparently), anxiety, etc.
I try my best to work as many hours as possible, so I can gain full independence.
I have a goal to save $25,000 that will go towards apartment applications, security deposits, rent, essential furniture, food, driving classes, and some emergency savings.
The picture attached is a message between my oldest sibling and I when I told him I’m done with the abuse… He told me that if I moved he will never speak to me again.
Thank you at all. Any prayers, well wishes, even tiny donations will help.
I will never forget the kindness of others in times of GREAT need.
Paypal : thankyou7555