Last February I packed up my remaining possessions as I sold most everything in order to pursue my dream career.
I had been a bee keeper for 8 years which was incredibly rewarding. I’d put away funds, benefited both the world around me as well as myself. I learned a lot but, I needed a change.
A dear friend whom had been urging me for years to make the move to Los Angeles and work for her in the film industry building sets, working with props and all other aspects of the Art Department in which she ran. The time was right so, I made the move.
The first two months were hectic. Figuring out the lay of this sprawling city is no easy task. And I was working! A lot! The days were long, the people were new, the work was demanding and I loved it all. My modest apartment was always welcoming and I was really finding this new chapter of life to be exhilarating.
My Boss, my friend whom had promised that I’d be swimming in jobs, have me lined up with work if not from her, others she knew would need me.
Then POOF! She just fell off. No explanation, no calls and certainly no work coming my way. I could see her social media and watch her gallivanting in Spain, dining in high end restaurants and boasting of new designer handbags.
When she did finally take a moment to respond to a message I had sent she simply said she needed to take a sabbatical. No care that she had basically had me move to one of the most expensive places to live and basically know no one. Swept the job away and showed little to no remorse for putting me in such a position.
I’ve put my best foot forward and strived to get on any jobs I can. I’ve made a few connections in which I am incredibly grateful for as they’ve seen how hard I work, how passionate I am about this and feel for me as they too had been affected by this selfish act.
Don’t get me wrong. I understand when someone has had too much. Becomes overwhelmed and the stresses swallow them up. But if this was the case, why drag me into it as well? I know well in good this isn’t an easy city nor doin expect everything to go my way or smoothly. But here I am.
I’ve never reached out for help before and honestly, if just writing this takes some of the fear, frustration and uncertainty away, it’s worth the time.
All I’m asking for is a little help. Rent is high, bill are piling up, and thankfully gas prices are going down somewhat but in LA, it’s absolutely critical one drives.
As of today, the 3rd of January 2023 I’ve just paid my rent, my insurance, my gas and electric as well as phone. This is is the last time I can do this unless I get some help or miraculously start getting work. And yes, I’m applying to everything else outside of this once dreamy world of lights, cameras etc.
So I guess all I’m asking is for a little help. Anything. I’m terrified to see the calendar tick away. I can see the bleakness and uncertainty looming. I just wish I could get ahead. Find some stability and find some self worth.
I thank you for taking the time to read this and am truly grateful for anything you may be able to share. Words of encouragement are always appreciated as well.