My request for money is to secure the safety of myself and my children from a domestic violence situation. I am in need of $5,228 to break my lease and relocate to a safe location. https://paypal.me/lsj317?country.x=US&locale.x=en_US
My situation created feelings of sadness, embarrassment, and overwhelming pain. I am one of many that has been dealing with a domestic violence situation for years.
My story is not unique in anyway from the millions of people who have been in this situation. Initially, I did not think that the best description for my relationship was domestic violence. Sure, there were times when I was talked down to or felt controlled. But he did not put his hands on me. Of course the threats weren’t kind, and being forced to distance myself from family was hard-but I wasn’t being hit. All the signs were there, but I could justify everything by saying, “well I should of known he’d get mad if I made his spaghetti the wrong way” or “if I had just spoke immediately after being asked a question I wouldn’t have gotten into my face”.
And of course my biggest rationalization of not being in an domestic violence situation was he didn’t put his hands on me….until he did
Not only is it agony being in a position where the man I thought loved me was looking down on me with hatred, hands wrapped around my neck-wanting to strangle the life out of me, it creates so many other feelings. Fear, shame, hurt, and guilt….
Yes, guilt. Even after being able to label my situation-I felt guilty. I was the one who had the police show up. I was the one that could cause him to lose his job. I was the one who created financial instability. This is what was told to me by him and his family.
“Why didn’t you just call us”? “Why did you have to involve the police”? “What did you do to make him so upset”? “He wouldn’t have really hurt you”, “He just has a hard time expressing himself”….
This is what I heard after escaping with my life. It’s all my fault.
The aftermath of my situation has caused feelings that are so overwhelming that I cannot begin to understand where healing for me and my children will begin.
I do know that I have to take the next best steps in my life, which are not easy. Many systems set up for individuals in or leaving DV situation can make a victim feel that the easier thing to do is to go back to the abuser.
But I don’t want to do the easier thing. I want to be safe, I want my children to be safe. I don’t want to end up being a tragic story, but a story of survival and an overcomer of my situation.
I have done the correct steps. I have filed the protection orders. I have filed the police reports. Unfortunately, I still don’t qualify to break my lease early as a DV victim because I have to wait for a final protective order-which the court date continues to get postponed.
While waiting for a final order of protection, I am seeking funds to be able to break my lease and move to a safe location $5,228 can ensure this. Trying to figure out the financial aspect is a hardship and stress that should not have to play such a huge role in figuring out life after a DV situation, but the reality is that it takes money, support, and resources. Any assistance will be greatly appreciated.