Hello,
Thank you for taking the time to read about my situation. I don’t know who to turn to and my siblings (whom are older than me) are only capable to financially help their own family. We were born and raised in a very expensive county. With my parents being immigrants, they didn’t teach us the importance of credit, savings, budgeting, and whatever else in the financial survival package. We learned on our own.
Like most of us, we didn’t stupid things with our money as children and now adults, we struggle to gain life, happiness, and no worries.
I am 40 years old and make decent money, but not enough to be comfortable. I have anxiety and now major depression. I lost my mother who lived with me 2 years ago. She was my life, my bestfriend. Being the youngest and only girl our of 4 children I meant the world to her. I always told myself, I will take care of her. I feel like I failed. My son, 17 at the time, had found my mother in the bathroom. I was at work. He called my husband because I didn’t have my phone on me (missed calls). “Something is wrong with grandma, she isn’t waking up!” My daughter, 9 at the time, was in my bedroom crying, but my son wouldn’t let her out because he was keeping her safe from seeing what he was seeing. But she heard his fear and sadness screaming in the phone. He calls 911 and we rush home. When I arrived, the fire crew was there. I ran into the home and up the stairs, looked at a fire fighter and he shook his head “no” as in “She’s gone”. I screamed and cried in anger, sadness, disbelief. I couldn’t stop. But I had to see her, hold her, kiss her. After this passing, my first witness of death,I went into major depression. For my son he is worse into depression, to the point that I feel like I’m losing him. I’m close to losing him to death or jail. I’m doing my best for my family, but depression has slowed me down and went I’m in a rut, I feel like I lost. Then I’ll pick myself up and fall back down. Work has been difficult too, income has decreased due to the pandemic, my husband was laid off during the pandemic, and it was just me financially taking care of the family for months. It set us back, way back that with the money I bring in now with my husband (who is back at work), I can’t focus on what to pay first to get out the hole because we are so behind. I had to pull 2 401k loans, but it still didn’t help. My brothers financially helped move my family out the house that my mom stayed with us in. This was to help my family mentally and financially because the rent was to expensive for me to pay. Moving did help mentally help me, I’m slowly myself again, but I still have my moments. Now with the backed up bills, it adds on and I go into a depressed state. The utilities from the old house followed me to the new, which I owe about $4000. I’m now behind on rent of $5473 and just got a email that is scaring me from our property manager. My main focus is to pay the rent of as priority and can to be in a payment plan with the electric company. I just paid them about $550, so I believe them work with me.
So I’m asking if anyone would be willing to help me towards my rent, in scared to get the eviction soon as you see the email in my photo. My husband will bring him about $1000 this week, but he has a car payment that he’s behind on. I think he wants to try to pay $500 (I’m afraid it’s close to repo). I get paid in 2 weeks of $1200, that I want to put all towards the rent and just try to survive on little food for my daughter as I can afford.
I just don’t know what to do, I’ve never done this before. I’m scared and don’t want to be evicted. With the pandemic, loss of my mother, and possibly losing my son, I feel defeated. Sometimes I don’t want to be around for this anymore. I just wish I can have my life back before the pandemic. I will pray every day and night I wake up to a better day. I talk to my mom to please help me get back on my feet and be healthy and save my son. I can keep going and going with more details, from medical to work to back accounts to just me feeling like I’m failing my family and myself.
I want to thank you again for your time this was also helpful for me to write this out and speak my story. I pray it helps me and the family.
paypal.me/dtusnowden
