I am in my second year of college as a psychology major, and I began my college career quite well. I got straight A’s, I planned to transfer to the University of Tennessee, but I met a boy. We met on a stupid dating site almost two years ago, and I fell pretty hard. I fell so hard that when my issues with my dad blew up, I moved in with him having only known him about 4 months.
After moving in, we argued more and more…he told me he was bipolar as well as had family problems of his own (his biological dad beat his mom as a kid). I started noticing little things would tick him off. Everything I did set him off and the arguments would escalate u til it got physical. Name calling turned into choking, arguments about taking the trash out would turn into locking me out of the apartment in winter until he felt it was okay to let me in, and I started skipping school to catch up on sleep that I had missed fighting the night before.
Valentine’s came around, and we argued because he decided to work hours he wasn’t scheduled for instead of being with me. So when he got home that night we fought per usual, but made up pretty fast. As we were watching a movie, I got a message from a girl on Facebook saying she matched with my boyfriend on tinder and only found out about me through Facebook pictures he was tagged in. She sent screenshots of conversations of him saying he’d leave me and he wanted to take this girl out. So I moved back with my parents (my room already given to my younger sister) and the very day my parents helped me move back in, he decided to fight for us and tell me he wanted me.
I think now looking back, I was lonely and very dependent on the first guy I had ever lived with. So I moved back, and he cheated again with his coworker. I didn’t find out until we had signed a year lease at a new apartment we picked out months before. The abuse kept up. I noticed he had started keeping his pocket knives on the night stand next to him when he slept and it made me nervous. Weeks of biting, choking, hair pulling and abuse of my pets continued until he slapped me across the face as hard as he could. Glasses broke, he broke the chair I was sitting in, and I had enough. I called my mom and when I tell my mom…it’s over. We broke up. But we were still on a lease. I told my leasing office and we scheduled a day to come in and talk options—although she wanted him gone. But of course i still loved him, so I wanted to keep him on the complex if possible but I’m separate apartments. However, a few days went by and I saw he was messaging a girl for days. I asked him if he had already moved on and he said no. I kept pushing him to tell the truth until he gave in and said yes.
That was the last straw. I wanted him out. He was the type of person to bring a girl home in front of me if I let him walk all over me. He said he had nowhere to go and no money. I said I didn’t care…and he pulled my head back by my hair and dragged me down the hallway to the bedroom. Short story, holes in the door, bruises on my neck…I called my dad this time and the police arrested him for aggravated domestic assault. I filed for an order of protection and waited weeks to speak in court. I should mention his dad is a lawyer, his mom a psychologist who knew every time he hit me. I went to court, his dad got him off on a misdemeanor charge and probation as well as applying for diversion. The whole thing was pointless…I know he learned nothing. In the end, I learned he was cheating on me since the day we met. With more girls than I can count. I was in love with a lie, and I know he couldn’t care less. His parents have gotten him out of every bad situation. And I am left to struggle with rent, bills, start up fees for utilities that were in his name, going to school—probably failing st this point, and two pets. I am 19. I need help, please. My rent is $564 this month…my kub start up is $300. Anything will help as I have more but am working and going to school to make up for as much as I can. This will be my second post as the first time I completely forgot my PayPal link paypal.me/TaylorCassady