Seven years ago, I left an emotionally abusive 32 year marriage. Getting on my feet included years of poor credit ratings, bankruptcy and 3 moves in 2 years. I found a nice apartment and was doing well.
My daughter is a survivor of sex trafficking—she struggles with severe PTSD, attention deficit disorder, and has recently been diagnosed as bipolar. She was living near the area where she was exploited. She contacted me to let me know she was pregnant, having seizures (she has epilepsy, but her seizures had been controlled prior to her pregnancy) and needed help. I told her to come home, live with me and we would get through this. She joined me in 2020 and my grandson arrived that December. She decided to stay with me and go to college. Her disabilities make study difficult, and she is unable to work extended hours while taking classes. She is in therapy and has finally found a good medication regimen which helps her maintain emotional stability.
Fast forward a couple of years. We are in the same apartment, doing well. My oldest son is going through a divorce. Neither parent was in a state to care for their 4 children, so they joined my daughter, grandson and I in my 2 bedroom apartment. They lived with us for about 6 months, and I was supporting my grandkids while their parents got their lives together. Money began to be tight but I was able to manage.
My daughter was unable to drive while she was actively having seizures so we shared my car for a good while. I found a nice car for her at a really good price and was able to get payments I could afford so I bought this for my daughter.
My small apartment was not meeting our needs and when my bankruptcy had been discharged 2 years I found a modest home that was perfect for us. I had been withdrawing from my retirement to manage getting my daughter a car, and helping with my oldest son and his kids. In order to purchase the house I made large withdrawal from my retirement account to cover the down payment and help with some basic repairs (doing these myself). Because the housing market was so inflated, my mortgage payment is larger than I had planned. I have told my daughter that I need her to help financially. She has a part time dance instructor job which basically covers her gas and essentials. I am supporting us on my income alone and I have come to the end of what I am able to do. My ex-husband is not an option for any financial support as our kids are over 18 and ‘should be able to care for themselves’.
I plan to refinance my home to get a lower payment as soon as I have enough equity to make it worthwhile. I do not have credit card debt, and I have worked hard to rebuild my credit rating. I have a $1600 mortgage payment, a $500 payment for my car and a $200 payment for my daughters’ car in addition to monthly expenses, groceries etc. My son (who works 2 jobs and is primary custodian of his kids) needs occasional help with groceries, which I try to help with. My retirement account is low. My parents have passed on, I don’t have an inheritance, I am an only child so I don’t have family who could offer assistance. I am trying to find an at home second job to help me sort things out.
Thank you. www.paypal.me/ozzyjo62