Hello. I don’t know how to begin or what exactly to say to convey my most humbling and dire situation. I am a loving single mother, a hardworking professional, a homeowner (2 years this month) whom is to say the least, out of her element writing to ask for money.
I have worked hard since I was 14 years old. I have never asked, borrowed, lived off the government, not one moment of my life. I have a beautiful 15 year old daughter, whom I have had full time since she was was born and I am thankful everyday for the shine that she brings to my life. I have not dated in years so I can focus on my daughter and my career. I am truly alone and am at a loss on where to turn. I never thought, ever, as independent and hard working as I am, that I would be in a position where I have no income, due to circumstances out of my control. I have always been a pillar of strength, and I hope, someone my daughter can look up to. I feel so far from that now.
I have degenerative disc disease, and scoliosis, both of which has progressed, making pain a 24/7 companion for me now. I do not drink, or do drugs, or even take the narcotics that doctors like to push. The past couple years my back has made a horrible impact on mine and my daughter’s life. I am not the go anywhere do everything mom anymore. I can’t tell you when we last went to even the beach or a park. I try not to complain but I always have to make excuses why we can’t do things or why I am not the same person anymore. It has had a very negative effect on my daughter and our relationship. I know it is hard on her and that resentment has crept in even though she tries not to let it.
I had to leave my job of 11 years in the dental field, because I cannot physically be at work all day, even sitting. I worked in that field for over 25 years. I have to lay down frequently throughout the day because of the pain. In addition my anxiety and panic attacks are daily because I am worried I will move wrong and my muscles will spasm so bad I will get stuck somewhere (which has happened) and have to call an ambulance to go the hospital. I have had three of these episodes in the past 8 months and I cannot move but to go to the restroom, which is so excruciating I scream and have to go right back to laying down for weeks at a time. During these severe flare ups I can’t take care of my dogs, daughter, or myself. My daughter ends up taking care of me which just manifests the guilt.
I cannot find work from home options that are legitimate, I have tried. I do see a spinal neurosurgeon and he says that surgery, which I can not afford because I now have no insurance coverage either, may not correct the pain. I cannot afford a lawyer for help trying to apply for disability. I am at the end of my resources and I will eventually not have money for groceries much less my mortgage or anything else.
Please know that I am at the end and it is a dark dark place. My daughter and I would be thankful for any help we receive.
The picture below was taken a few years back. It seems light years back, I don’t even remember how it feels to be that woman in that picture. I miss her so much.