Hi everyone!
I have never done anything like this before, but desperate times call for desperate measures! My name is Kayti, I’m 34 years old and am currently in a horrible situation, physically, emotionally and financially.
Here’s some of my background and how I have landed in this situation. My husband and I were married in 2016, and up to then I had a healthy, mostly happy life. Due to our age, my husband and I started trying to have a family right away. After a year past with no pregnancies or miscarriages, we decided that we probably needed some medical help. After getting the initial tests at our family doctor, everything looked normal, from the vaginal ultrasounds to the semen count. I was referred to a gynecologist that proscribed me with pills to help me ovulate and was told that usually ” fixes” the problem. After taking those pills for 3-4 months with no pregnancy the gynecologist sent us to a fertility clinic. Because everything looked good on my husbands side, the fertility clinic focused on me. After following their instructions and having another in detailed cervical exam we were told that I had an irregularly small amount of eggs left at my age. They had suggested the medication that I was already previously on. I had done a few blood tests with them and after a few appointments we were told that at this point, if we had any hope of getting pregnant we would have to go the IVF route because we were not going to get pregnant naturally.
This brings us to late 2017. At this point after getting that news I was devastated. The only thing I ever wanted in my life was to have a baby of my own. Because of the cost and small window we had, IVF wasnt an option for us. I would never have a biological baby of my own. This brought me down to a dangerously low depression. I didn’t feel like I had any meaning I my life. At points, I was suicidal, because I felt my true purpose was taken away from me. I started drinking wine almost daily. It got so bad that I was drinking a box of wine ever week (basically a bottle of wine to myself everyday). It was the only thing that slightly helped me numb the pain.
After 2 years of a deep depression, and 30lbs over my comfortable weight, I decided I needed a change. I thought 2019 things were going to change for the better. I have worked for a large corporation since I was 15 years old, and thought maybe if I focused on helping others and working the latter at work to feel a sense of purpose. I started in a leadership role at work, and was starting to feel a little bit better. After a year in the leadership role that only paid 1 dollar an hour extra with tons of responsibility and stress, I requested to step down to my regular role. I was told to keep my mouth shut, put my head down, go back to my regular role, and we’ll let you know soon whether you can keep your job or not in a week or 2.
That frustrated me beyond relief after being at the same company for over 15 years, but health wise the stress was too much. I have a disease called menieres disease and was told by my specialist that year that stress makes my vertigo worse, and that I may ultimately lose my hearing. You know how when people say ” dont stress it will make it worse!”..well it does but its easier said than done. I continued working in my regular role, nonetheless, hoping that I could just get by.
Feb 2020 things started to get worse. My depression was out of control, I was starting to have horrible anxiety attacks, and was diagnosed with another disease called Rayauds. It gives my hands and feet stabbing pain, especially in the cold, and I live in Canada. I was told by many doctors to ” move to a warmer climate ” and the pain wouldnt be so bad. But unfortunately, I work at a customer service job, and I would be lying if I said I was paid well.
Mid Feb 2020 I went out with my parents for lunch. I sat down in a both and kind of jumped out of my skin saying ” OUCH!”. my mother asked if I hit my funny bone or something. I said I just had this radiating pain in my pain. I tried to walk to off and got up from the both, and that’s when I experienced the worse pain I have ever had in my life. I couldnt even walk. My sister carried me to the car and took me to the hospital. After explaining my pain symptoms the triage nurse said ” oh my good, your having a sciatica attack! And I’m telling you, I have birth with no epidural and I have had sciatica, I’d rather give birth anyway over that!”
After getting multiple bags of morphine in the ER I was sent home and told to rest for 2 weeks. I have never been the same since that day! My life has been thrown upside down. I have seen multiple specialist and surgeons, and I have not got relief yet. Some days I can walk with a cane, some days I get. I’ve tried chiropractic care, opioids, physiotherapy, and am going to the pain clinic weekly for injections.
Because I have been off work for quite some time, the insurance company that my work deals with are trying to make me go back to work. I try to make them understand that I’m in agony physically and mentally. I try to tell them I’m waiting to see my next specialist. I tell them that I cant live independently, and without my husband to bath, cook, clean, do laundry, drive me to appointments I would be on the street by now. I havent been paid in over 2 months now. The problem is, unfortunately personal support workers dont the make great money that they should!
So, I am writing for help. We are at the tipping point of making it, or breaking it. We are going to lose our house. We are going to lose our car, we are going to lose everything. I’m heartbroken and distraught. I have been a hardworking person my entire life. Unfortunately, it seems every door of hope or opportunity seems to slam in my face. If you are someone that took the time to read my story, thank you! I very much appreciate you just giving me the time to tell my story. If you are someone who can help, whether its 2 dollars or 10, everything helps!
Again thank you for your time!
Kayti
paypal.me/helpkayti