Dear amazing, generous strangers
Where do I start? I have scaled the depths of the internet world in search of make money quick tactics but I have failed and lost more money signing up to these gimmicks. This is why my message lands in your Inbox. My name is April, I live on a little island in the United Kingdom called the Isle of Sheppey. It is nothing special but it’s our hometown, the hometown me and my husband thought to be perfect for our young son to grow up in. I am 32 years old and have worked since I was 14 until approximately 4 years ago. I left my longterm job of over a decade for a job closer to home, more pay and much better hours (who wouldn’t), sadly the company went bust within 11 months of me starting to work. I tried for a VERY long time to find more work but was unsuccessful. I then fell pregnant and it didn’t seem plausible to get a job whilst pregnant. My husband earns a very good wage but sadly due to this he has to pay out a substantial price in taxes, national insurance, work perks, expenses etc. Aswell as trying to look after our home and joint finances. I always planned to go back to work when our son started nursery however I have always suffered with mental health issues but somehow got through life until it was too much. Things really did blow up for my family. I lost myself, I didn’t recognise myself nor did I like myself. The pain I caused people around me was unthinkable. I was severely depressed, suffering panic attacks multiple times a day, couldn’t eat or sleep, I was a bag of agoraphobic bones just moving from my bed to the sofa each day was painstaking. All the days blended into one and I festered and panicked my way through almost a year until the darkest time of my life. 14th August 2019 I wanted to end my time on this earth. I felt I was a complete burden to everyone around me and that my beautiful son deserved so much more than I could offer. After 6 hour long panic attack, self harm, mental health crisis teams, two ambulances and my husband racing back from his work place which is 200miles away from where we live. It was a very difficult time. The next day I started antidepressants which was a panic induced whirlwind at first but it has saved me and I am getting better but still waiting for therapy. Our mental health service is VERY stretched in the NHS. Anyway my point is I have zero money of my own, I have maxed my overdraft and my credit card. My husband is struggling with money I know as he has become very stressed and pushing me to get work which I am not mentally ready for. I have tried to start a business from home, if you’d like to check it out on Facebook it’s called Biddy’s & Bouquets. I make gift hampers, chocolate and sweet filled balloons, balloon Clusters etc. It doesn’t seem to be taking off how I had hoped though and I worry for our future. We live in a huge house and you would think we have money but we don’t. Nothing spare, everything goes on bills and debts we have accumulated in an attempt to get myself better. Spending thousands on retreats, hypnotherapy, private psychiatrists you name it. My marriage is struggling, our life here is not certain. We never used to play the lottery until recently we are just hoping we will be lucky but it is money we truly do not have. We don’t smile or laugh like we should. We worry about every single penny. In an ideal world and my dream is to have our mortgage paid, all our debts paid off and me be able to run a small animal sanctuary and to also become a buddy to local elderly residents. I feel we are just stuck, and will always be paying things off until we die or lose everything. There are people out there so much worse off but I hope you can see that I want to do good, I am a good person and I find it incredibly sad that money is basically everything. If my message made it to your screen then I do hope you can at least be humble and offer advice to me to end my plight. I’ve never asked anyone for anything in my life, nor has my husband so I feel extremely shallow sending this “sob” story out to you all. I do hope to hear from you and wish you a wonderful New Year, a new decade for new beginnings.
As I type this to you my husband has just been on the phone to me in tears over money. He kept us afloat when I was poorly, paid everything he could to try and help me get better and now we are suffering. For him to cry has really broken my heart. I know there will always be someone worse off but everyone’s pain and suffering is true, real and matters. My husband feels the only solution is to sell our house. Which is going to be hell. We’ve hit rock bottom now, is there anyway you can help us? Forever grateful even just for you to acknowledge my plea.