I am 22 years old, in my prime but cant get past something that I’ve struggled with since middle school. Body image.
I am 195 lbs, 5’5. I dont care much about the number on the scale. I just care about how I look and feel. I constantly feel uncomfortable. Everytime I get dressed everytime I leave the house. Even just laying in bed at night. Everyday, every hour it’s on my mind. My fat makes me feel so self conscious and uncomfortable. It’s not even about what people say. I feel this way, I dont like my body. I dont care if other people like my body or not.. but I dont like my body. I never have.. I just want to feel comfortable in my body. I want to not hate every inch of my body. I want to love and appreciate my body. And no matter how hard I try to mentally get over this I cant.. i always come back to wishing i was thinner. It is so mentally torturing to constantly dislike your body on a daily basis. Some days I dont even want to leave bed. I just want to hide… and I’ve dealt with this since middle school. It’s hard and it doesn’t get any easier. If anything I feel more pressure now because I wont be 20 forever and I want to be happy in my body at least once.. I constantly watch people online get laser lipo and finally get the body and confidence they’ve always wanted.. and I dream for that as well. I want to get that confidence. I want to not worry about my body image every 10 mins. I want to shop without crying. I just really really need a blessing in order for this to happen… I will be hoping and praying about this constantly. I pray that someone understands… I feel I’m alone on this. I have tried everything under the sun to fix this but nothing has helped. The only thing that ever helped is when I water fastes for 25 days… which I know is something I cant do forever.. I just want to feel comfortable in my body. I hope someone understands ❤ thanks for reading