Stage IV Cancer and in Serious Debt/Trying to plan a wedding! But, how I got cancer is a story in itself!

    Let me start off by saying this! I use to feel pretty.( See first pic- before cancer) I used to feel motivated. I used to feel like I could still start my own business. I was excited to marry my high school sweetheart I reconnected with.(See last pic below, which by the way was the day before I got sick) I found a church I loved. Things were looking up. My fiancé and I were both going through a divorce. He had gotten on Facebook for the first time ever and friend requested me. I had recently separated from my then husband. My fiancé and I dated for 2 years in high school and everyone including family on both sides thought we would marry. We broke up our senior year and I continued to hold a candle for him. I immediately started dating this other guy to get over my fiancé. He also went to our school. After some time I ended up falling in love,  I graduated, we got pregnant and soon after  got married. We were young! When my fiancé connected with me on Facebook and asked how I was. I told him I wasn’t very good. He said neither was he. After 2 years of counseling he and his wife had been separated about a year. We were in two different states. The next thing we know we are packing and moving to a whole new state together where a friend from high school lived, (my fiancés best friend ) and had recommended. We moved to where we are in October 2020. Our first year was blissful. Our kids were grown and doing their own thing. We were so happy.

    Then one day at the end of October, 2021 I needed a wisdom tooth pulled. The dentist talked me into having both bottom wisdom teeth pulled.( I had the top ones taken out years ago). To make a long story about the dentist short- I’ll get to my point quickly. 1. I go to get my wisdom teeth pulled. 2. I was new to my state and didn’t know the areas well. 3. I enter place to get wisdom teeth pulled and a series of events occurred that were not ethical. 4. I end up hyperventilating during the procedure and aspirated. 5. I went home to recover and within a couple days  I knew something wasn’t right. (See pic below of me bruised)

    I started going downhill within a week. I even went to my dentist and told her something was wrong. She thought I was healing fine. The next thing I know I have vertigo, nerve damage in my right arm and my right jaw felt horrible, then my left. My hearing in my ear was slightly muffled. I was referred to an endodontist. He did an X-ray and said my jaw were broken. With that said I ended up going to a new oral surgeon for a second opinion and an ear nose, throat specialist. Indeed I had vertigo, some slight hearing damage, and a broken jaw on left and right of my mouth. I couldn’t believe it! The bruising I got from it was worse than it should have been. I was told I probably shouldn’t have had the wisdom teeth pulled at that time because my calcium was low and my jaw was brittle. They were wanting to wire my jaw shut. I work remote and couldn’t hardly function. I was taken off work.

    Then, things got worse!! For my step dads 80 th birthday I flew him out for an early Thanksgiving.( He’s been in my life since I was 3 and like a second dad to me) It was planned before all the above had happened. My vertigo was nearly gone as well as most the bruising. My jaw still hurt, but I wasn’t going to let it ruin our early Thanksgiving had a good day with my dad and rode around on a golf cart on paths we have here. I was having a little trouble breathing, but not bad. I thought it was allergies.( The last pic of my fiancé and I was the day before I got sick. Don’t I look normal?) Well, November 13th, 2021 I am in the kitchen roasting a turkey and doing the sides and even some homemade bread.( Actually, it was my bread making machine I used.) I started having more trouble breathing, but if I sat down it seemed to get better or so I thought. My fiancé suggested going to urgent care, but I of course, refused and wasn’t going to ruin early Thanksgiving.

    My fiancé ended up taking over the last hour of prepping and I sat down to rest. A couple that are our friends also joined us and we all sat down to dinner. My dad told me I didn’t look good. I couldn’t even eat. We said grace and then I just sat there trying to figure out what was wrong as I continued to feel worse. My friend suggested I go to urgent care. By this time , I was a little more concerned. It was 7 minutes before Urgent care closed. My fiancé drove like a bat out of hell! We got to Urgent care in the Knick of time, and as soon as the nurse saw me she immediately got me on oxygen and checked my O2 level. I was in the low 70’s and my heart rate was high! The next thing I know I am in an ambulance.

    It’s NOT COVID! Everyone thought that it was covid at first, then pneumonia. Really bad pneumonia.  It may have actually slowly started from me aspirating at the dentist! I spent a couple days in the hospital and was sent home. I had oxygen tanks sent to my home a wall unit for oxygen. I was on 2ltrs.My doctor thought it was still pneumonia and would subside. Within a few days I woke up to half of my right face not working and my right eye wouldn’t shut. My fiancé thought I was having a stroke. He rushed me to the ER and at the same time my O2 level was dropping again. I had not had a stroke and they waited 3 days to start any treatment which is just acyclovir tablets and is not a for sure help. I ended up with it for 4 months before it subsided. Now, I have slight nerve damage, thank God that’s the only residual. I wore a patch over my eye as well because it wouldn’t shut.(See pic below that has my crooked face) I ended up needing more oxygen liters. I started to get a little better breathing wise so they sent me home…….

   To not drag this out even more I was in and out of the hospital 6 times. They couldn’t figure out for nearly 3 months what was wrong with me and several doctors were on my case. There was an infectious disease doctor, 2 pulmonary doctors,  a cardiologist, a hospitalist, and a neurologist surgeon. None of them could figure out what was wrong with me. I was tested for every disease you can think of! Finally, I was at another hospital that could do a lung biopsy and bone marrow biopsy.  I woke up in ICU and had been out for 3 days. By this time I was on so much oxygen they had me on a high flow unit. At first I wasn’t told what I had. I couldn’t talk because they had intubated me. During that time they only allowed one person in a 24 hr period due to covid and you couldn’t switch out the visitor. My other dad (biological whom I’m also close to had flown in) I woke up to him in the room. The doctor came in. I wanted my fiancé there, but that wasn’t going to happen on this day. Then, I was told words no-one wants to hear. “You have cancer. It’s a form of Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.” said the Oncologist. I was also told later that me aspirating at the dentist could have woken this up and it had been dormant. I didn’t know the stage yet. The doctor only said at that moment that it was aggressive and I needed chemo (2 round) right away. had spent my birthday(in December. See  pic below my fiancé and I below in my hospital bed), New Years, and would spend Valentine’s Day, in the hospital.

My lungs looked like cotton candy!!! See the X- ray pic below!

All the white was due to the cancer. They couldn’t see the nodules on my lungs though because of how bad my lungs were. I also had it on my spine and spleen. I wasn’t producing phlegm. It was just that my alveoli’s were not getting oxygen enough. Everywhere that is white in the X-ray was bad. Real bad. I soon learned it was Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma Large Diffuse B Cell- Stage IV. The months that followed were worse. I ended up in a wheelchair, I got infections, I lost my hair, I lost a lot of weight (30 lbs). My nose got ulcers from all the oxygen, and I was in pain. More than I let on. I couldn’t hardly move. I got out of breath just going from the couch to my bed. Eventually I couldn’t even stand up. Through all of this my fiancé was by my side. He has medical issues that give him constant pain. He has RA. My dad after a few weeks had to go home. We didn’t know my prognosis. It was my will, my faith, my fiancé, and a few some people from church that got me through the worse part. My daughter was awesome coming twice for a week  and then 2 to help my finance. But, he mostly did it all on his own and tried to work too. We got behind in bills. We started using my credit card to live off of. He was driving for Uber so his schedule could be flexible to care for me and take me to the doctor’s or when I was back in the hospital off and on. During all of this his Ex filed for divorce and they had a teen who was going on 17. He tried to move here, but got homesick. It was too expensive for us to stay in that state and the jobs were terrible if you found one. She was stating that my fiancé made $7,000 a month so she could get a good amount of child support. It wasn’t true. We turned in proof (tax 1040 paperwork, but it was too late when we finally got his taxes done and turned it in)We were drowning. My fiancé couldn’t deal with the divorce and child support paperwork which was taking place in another state. He couldn’t afford a lawyer and she could. He had managed a shop with her for over 20 years. When they split up he had to turn in his keys to the shop. Her family owned the place. He lost his job, his insurance, a lot of his stuff. Since he emotionally couldn’t deal with the paperwork , had no lawyer, and was consumed with taking care of me (she knew I had cancer). She was also living with a man she fell in love with. Her timing with all the paperwork and court dates caused us an insane amount of stress. The pressure of the medical bills, the living expenses, our accumulating debt to survive, and me.

   I felt useless. This went on for a year. As of December 2022 I am in remission. I thank GOD I am still here. I have side effects from the chemo though. I have a lot of pain in my joints, and we are on a 3rd medication to try and help me. I went into menopause as well, and I have a couple heart defects. I tire easy. It took me all night to write this because my wrists and fingers are constantly in pain .My fiancé has put in several applications to no avail. When you’ve had the same job running a pawn shop for over 20 years it seems no one wants to hire him unless it’s less than $16.00 per hour. If they call where he worked and asked about him they would probably hang up on the person. He is a good man, and they just couldn’t make it work. He too got married young. He needs to make at least $25.00 per hour (since he has to pay child support and they currently want $1,100 a month plus $500 in arrears going back to February 2022- so $1,600 a month) and due to his RA he needs to be able to sit and stand. We currently can’t afford his medication and it’s a preexisting condition. If we both could get remote jobs ( I’ve had two in the past years, but to get the pay I need they are quite stressful and I can’t seem to get anything for even $17.00 and hour. I have been getting some disability till I’m released back to my current job, but they are making it seem like they are going to lay me off. Why? Because I was there less than a year when I got sick and apparently there is a loophole that allows this. I wish he and I could work together. That was our dream when we got here, but it didn’t come to fruition.

   My immune system is horrible. I seem to catch every cold that comes around. We are stressed and not sleeping. How much debt are we in with literally barely anything coming in. Close to $220, 000 is our total debt. We also were trying to plan a weeding, but can’t since there is no money. We only have one car. We are blessed though, because I am alive and we currently still have a roof over our head. I don’t expect anything. If you are hiring with a legitimate job that pays well (remote) that’s not crazy stressful, has medical benefits, we aren’t making sells calls,  it’s not an MLM, or pyramid, or dealing with upset customers all the time then maybe you can hire us. You can email tailoredtaticalarmory@gmail.com. It’s an old email we were going to use and my fiancé was going to teach gun safety.  It didn’t come to fruition. I am also an author, but my publisher was new and got out of the business. My book is still out there, but I see no proceeds. The proceeds I got in the beginning I donated to a charity for people with Autism. So, a publisher that wants to take me on would be great too. I’m also slowly working on a second book. I pray you got to the end of this. I know it was long. I won’t lie though, donations would be quite helpful. Prayers too if you pray. Thank you for taking the time to read my story. It may not reach anyone. If I’ve learned anything about this whole experience, it’s to never give up HOPE or FAITH! Thank you.

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