I honestly don’t know how I am to begin this, or even end it for that matter. But please bare with me as this is my reality and I apologize if this is a trigger for some.
As my title states I am a survivor of domestic violence. I was in an abusive relationship for the past five years. It didn’t start that way, but unfortunately it progressed from verbal and emotional abuse to financial abuse and physical violence.
I was 22 and living my life to its fullest when I happened upon a sweet, kind, and loving man who wanted to share his time and life with me. About six month into our relationship we started planning on marriage and children. We decided it would be financially smarter if we lived together and it would help solidify and grow our relationship. Things were wonderful; we had a lovely suburban home, two dogs, and I had just landed my dream job. Everything seemed to good to be true.
And it was.
It went from perfect to slowly a nightmare I was so blind to. I wasn’t allowed to hang out with my friends, or do simple things like go to the gym or grocery store without him or his permission. He began to “budget” for me. Taking 75% of my paycheck to “plan our future.” I was convinced my dream job was too taxing on me mentally and that I shouldn’t put so much stress on our relationship, so he begged me to quit. Which I did because he “could take care of us”. I am 5’8” and weighed 120lbs but was getting chunky, would never fit in my wedding dress and should have more control when it came to food, so he began to monitor what I was eating. We got married after a year. I’ll never forget the first day it got physically violent; it was our 1 month wedding anniversary, I was playing with the dog and happened to accidentally bump his arm as he was standing in the kitchen. He grabbed me by the back of the neck and slammed me into the wall, breaking the picture that was hanging with my head and told me next time I’d better be more aware of my surroundings.
From that day on the abuse just began to increase little by little, at one point I had to take a week off of work to heal the bruises on my face and neck from being thrown to the ground and strangled. He has broken two of my teeth, my right hand, various ribs, and would grab me or hit me to the point where no matter what the weather I was hiding behind long sleeves and baggy clothes.
After five year and being laid off during COVID I was home all day every day, I began seeing more women speaking of domestic violence and other forms of assault. Finally one day I had had enough. While he was at work I packed up my belongings and was going to drive to my mothers which is 2,000 miles from where we live. I didn’t know he had cameras in the house. He came home from work 5 hours early, I ended up being hospitalized and put into a woman’s shelter and he is currently incarcerated waiting for his trial.
I have exceed the limit of days allowed to stay in the women’s shelter and beginning next week I will be homeless if I cant come up with something.
I don’t even know where to begin to ask for help but if you have made it this far in my story any help or prayers would be greatly appreciated.