Hi, my name is Ivy/Mariam. I am a 23 year old Egyptian trans woman living in Cairo. In addition to being a feminist, I also advocate for the rights of LGBTQI+ individuals.
At the age of 16, I began to transition without informing my family, who were already aware that I am transgender but didn’t offer me any comfort or support. Despite their medical background, they took me to a transphobic doctor. I had to endure ignorant and abusive behavior from doctors, sheikhs, and others that were trying to push me away from a particular path. Sadly, some of them even sexually harassed me in my own home.
I’ve lived most of my life with my mom, and she was the one who raised me and my sister, as my parents separated when we were kids, and I thank god for that because I really cannot tell how much worse things may had been if my dad was present, but my mom was abusive, from the day we saw the light, me and my sister were hit, beaten, emotionally and verbally abused, financially abused, you name it, she’s a narcissist that’s what I’ve figured out, and understood from my former therapist, and all that didn’t really just happen as a form of punishment or to make us behave, it was a release for her.
Then I started my transition, my mom found out later a year after I’ve been on HRT, after she started noticing changes. We had a huge fight at the time, but it ended in a compromise on her part, and she let me stay on HRT.
Bullying and harassment and violent and threat of violence at every corner, as I move further in my transition, 17 and first time I get sexually assaulted, which I did not let my mom know about until my 20s in which she said “You choose this”, we lived in a poor area in Cairo, and my family did nothing to protect me or keep me safe, I’ve been followed from my home to my school by people in motorcycles. My school was not that close. I do not want to speculate why but I do know why.
In 2017, life started getting so much better for me, previously I did not know any other trans or LGBTQI+ people here in Egypt, I thought I was entirely alone, and I was going through it all alone, until by chance on a random transgender support group on FB, I saw a post another Egyptian trans woman made, venting about the situation here, and she introduced me to another friend of mine, who because of her belief in my ability, and skill, and passion and determination I am who I am today.
We were the first to launch a Transgender Platform in this area when the Trans movement was beginning to take off and visibility awareness were still in their infancy. Even without a source of financial support, we all put in work as we strove for an improved reality for transgender people in our country. We wanted to make significant changes to the way trans individuals experience their lives.
After finishing secondary school, I was intended to enroll in a state-run college in Egypt. However, I experienced prejudice due to my being transgender when the university representatives expressed that I should only “show up for the tests”. As someone who firmly believes in the importance of learning, I knew I had to make the most of my academic education and not let it go to waste. After applying to universities abroad, I was accepted at the University of Toronto in Canada. However, I didn’t get any scholarships and tuition cost was 35k CAD. A friend of my friend launched a GoFundMe campaign, but unfortunately there wasn’t much support.
In 2019 I was given the opportunity to work as a field researcher at an LGBTQI+ NGO in Egypt and Sudan. My job was to document the oral stories of members of this community, ensuring their narratives were not lost from history. It was an immensely fulfilling experience and one that I am grateful for.
I left my job at that NGO in 2020, due to unbearable workloads, inadequate pay, no holiday. All of this left me exhausted and in a state of burnout.
Following this, I turned to freelance translation and writing for many organisations that were closely linked to the LGBTQI+ movement, including MamaCash, Mykali and some other local NGOs.
2022 was a challenging year for freelancers like myself. With the effects of the Covid-19 pandemic, it became difficult to find steady work and commissions for translation and writing projects.
By January 2022, I had already been 3 months behind on rent and my landlord was continuously bothering me with the threat of eviction. Consequently, I found myself in a desperate situation where every penny I earned went straight to the landlord to avoid being kicked out from my home.
By February, I was struggling to make ends meet and found myself unable even to pay for food. My mom sometimes gave me money to buy basic supplies like food and litter for my cats, but I would go without eating myself. It’s not hard to understand why that was the case.
Faced with starvation, I reluctantly decided to try something I had previously considered and rejected – sex work. Though it was an extremely difficult decision to make, the alternative of starvation was even more unbearable. Doing something like that when you don’t want to do, especially when forced upon, is terribly deuhaminzing. It can take a toll on your mental health and it robs you of your humanity.
I had to find a way to make it through without anyone knowing what I was going through. My friends were unaware of the situation and I wanted to keep them from feeling guilty or burdened. Moreover, I didn’t want them to think differently about me.
Until I was raped multiple times and was forced to keep seeing the same person who had done it to me. It felt so overwhelming that I hesitated to open up until eventually, I confided in a friend of mine. Knowing I needed help to get out of the situation, I began looking for ways to escape. It wasn’t easy and there were some tough moments, but I eventually told my closest friends about it even though it wasn’t an easy decision.
My friends created a campaign on GoFundMe in an attempt to help me with my cause but it unfortunately failed to reach its target.
Right now, my top priority is undergoing gender confirmation surgery.
Gender confirmation surgery would be a powerful way for me to protect myself from the systemic risks and threats that I face in Egypt. It will create an immense sense of safety and security in my life, as well as provide me with a long-term solution. Regardless of this improving my mental and emotional health, a change in my legal documents will open up a lot of job career opportunities.
So I can continue my work, trying to fix this messed up world we live in.
I am also asking for the same exact amount the surgery and related expenses would cost.
Which is 2000$ and nothing more.
More would help ofc with rent till I am able to find work.
But 2000$ is all I absolutely need.
paypal.me/fouriaria428