As I lay here in bed I think to myself this sounds so selfish and minuscule compared  to other people’s problems, but you know what I’m a giver and it’s my turn to ask for a favor. I am a mother of two one of which has autism, which can be very challenging at times. I got the courage to leave their father a couple years ago. He and his current significant other have been a force of nature to say the least. They torment me about my weight, they talk bad about me in front of my kids and do anything they can to make my life miserable. I’ve dealt with hormonal weight issues on and off since I can remember, but I’m finding it harder to lose weight as I get older. Having bariatric surgery would help me in so many ways, physically and emotionally. I’m just asking if anyone could find it out of the kindness of their heart to help this woman get her revenge body, feel happy and energetic enough to keep up with her kids, I would be forever great full. Thank you 😊

https://paypal.me/forgreatful

Hello to anyone who is reading this!!

I know we all have our fair share of struggles. Everyone here is deserving of all the help they need. Im not usually one to publicize my problems or struggles, but its come to the point where I need to finally ask for help. I have had a series of unfortunate medical events over the last 6 years that has put me into a position of incredible debt that I can’t seem to get out from.

My story starts with 3 years of unexplained and undiagnosed abdominal pain. I saw every doctor and specialist imaginable to find answers and treatments. During this time I was subject to horrific domestic abuse from my step dad. I don’t care to go into details because its too painful to write about. I was living on couches and floors while trying to find out why I had debilitating pain. This particular medical saga ended with me having two surgeries. One didn’t help, and one was totally successful in finding and fixing my problem. I ended that saga with over $30,000 in medical debt. All of which I unfortunately put onto my credit cards. A mistake I wish I had never made. The good news is that I had landed a job that would allow me to start paying that off!

Part 2 of my story. I ended up with an injury because of the first surgery that put me on a medical leave without pay. I was in physical therapy for about 9 months before I could return to work. All without making any money. I went back to living on couches and floors to get by. My debt continued to climb and a good friend of mine decided to gift me $15,000 to help me get by. I vowed I would pay her back when I was able to go back to work and get my finances back in good standing. I returned to work and was feeling great for about 6 months.

Part 3 of my story! This is fun, right? While at work I developed severe numbness in my hands. To the point of not being able to do my job. I was devastated. Turns out I had to have surgery to replace a disc in my neck and leave work yet again. This time it was covered by workers comp, but I still had no chance to make a dent in my medical debt or the debt I owed my friend. I had a successful neck surgery and a very fast and wonderful recovery. Just as I was about to head back to work, Covid happened and the world shut down. I was in limbo  yet again.

Part 4….the covid chronicles. My job industry completely shut down due to covid and it looks as though it won’t reopen until next year. But that wasn’t my biggest worry. Because of all the scans I had on my neck structuring to find the ruptured disc, Drs also discovered something suspicious on my thyroid. Long story short, it turned out to be cancer. So there I was, the midst of a covid oubreak and heading into the operating room AGAIN to remove my thyroid before the cancer spread. Thankfully my job is paying for my monthly insurance payment, but my insurance only picked up half of the tab for my cancer treatment, leaving me with a whopping $10,200 to pay out of pocket on top of the debt I still have to pay for my past medical procedures AND the debt to my friend.

Im lucky enough to receive unemployment during this time but its not enough to cover monthly expenses on top of the payments for my medical bills and my credit cards. Let alone the money I still owe my friend. I am so, so lucky to not be in a worse situation, and I am so happy they caught my cancer early enough to easily treat it. I’m praying that this is the last of the hellfire storm I’ve been dealing with, but now I need to get out of debt. Its been a dark cloud looming over me for too long and I haven’t been able to save for anything in life. No retirement, no house, no car, nothing. I depend on others to help house me and I work hard around the house and in my host’s yard to earn my keep. I don’t own a car so I rely on neighbors to help get me to my appointments and I basically live out of a suitcase. I’ve worked hard all of my life and I’m the first person to give you the shirt off my back, but right now, I’m in a position where I need help. I’d like to know that I have a future thats debt free without barely living paycheck to paycheck. Please help me get back on my feet. We all need a chance in life.

Here’s a breakdown of my debt:
Credit card medical debt- $17,560
Thyroid cancer treatment bills- $10,200
Amount I owe my generous friend- $15,000
Money to start an investment in my future- $5,000

paypal.me/katiesdrums

Good afternoon,

My name is Laura, I live in a small town in the state of Iowa. The corn state. It’s a little boring here, and things happen, and one thing leads to other stuff. My point here, I regretfully got bored in my late teens, and decided to experiment with drugs (pills) and alcohol. I struggled off and on for  years trying to quit both by myself. (But the last 5 years has been the dark side). Pills (opiates) got the best of me when I was going through withdrawal. I couldn’t go to work I was so sick. The alcohol kind of helped the edge and started drinking with my husband. We both became alcoholics, and that led down a very dark road. It turned into a physical and verbally abusive relationship. I then, decided we needed to get help. Treatment and rehab was the answer. I decided to start with detox, and cried all the way there to CFR. (Community and Family Resources) My husband decided he was fine and did not want to go, but I could see him literally shaking, withdrawing from the alcohol. I begged and begged him to come with me. The answer was no, and he said I was stupid for even going to get help. I went to pack my bags and my friend gave me a ride out there. They gave me some calming meds and later that evening i called her and my husband ended up having a seizure from the withdrawal. I knew it, I knew something bad was going to happen. I then left detox to go be with him. I stopped drinking for a while, a month, and then started up again, well I ended up having a seizure myself and almost choked to death, he saved my life. I stopped drinking for a few months, but started again, losing another job. Falling behind with bills and racking up credit cards during this dark time, I finally decide to leave him and went and stayed with a friend, where I hid the alcohol, and one night he knew i was drinking and made me go to the ER, by calling the cops, I was so out of it i had no idea what was going on.  I blew a .497 in the hospital, I should have been dead. When i finally snapped out of that, a couple days in the hospital, my dad came and told me i have no choice but to go to detox and then a treatment program. I ended up staying and sobering up and proudly say I am over 130 days clean now. March 5, 2020 is my clean date. Now, I currently seek help, by doing MAT clinic (medicine to stop cravings) and outpatient rehab group sessions. I also attend AA meetings and lived with my parents away from my drunken husband. But my house bills were slowly rising, as Covid-19 stopped me from getting a job when i got out of inpatient treatment. I kicked my husband out and moved my boyfriend in. He is anti alcohol so he helps me a great deal with that. We are both sober clean and happy, but at this point, I am so far into debt I am considering filing bankruptcy. I don’t want to have to do that. There is one more thing, my boyfriend has a bad heart. He is only pumping 15%, and normal is 70%. He has a blood clot disorder, and has had 2 strokes now. He is walking and talking fine, thank God, but we are hoping to also raise money for his heart transplant. He has helped me so much on this terrible dark road, and now that I am finally happy again, and found the love of my life, he has a blood clot in his heart, which is like a ticking time bomb until it takes his life. Please help us, we have come so incredibly far and finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel, and now we have to encounter this obstacle. Please help me keep him alive, he is all I have left in this world, but he is all that I need to be happy. I am about $30,000 in debt with the credit cards and student loans I fell behind on, and medical bills from the hospitalizations, and any extra will help with his heart transplant/medical bills. I have pictures of us happy together if you want to see please request.

My paypal site is: paypal.me/lauraloveslife2020

Hello,

 

This is the first time I’ve tried asking for financial  help like this. As the title post states, I need help to receive a medical operation. I have had issues with my leg for many years. I am a 24 year old female, working 2 jobs and I do have a home freelancing opportunity. The operation in itself costs $17,356. Yes it’s a lot of money and I have been making strides over the past few months towards this goal. I have been of course in a wheelchair to get around but I mainly work from home. So far I’ve been able to save up $10,787. On my own, which was only from working insane hours and assistance from family and friends. I have tried many times to apply for financial aid with this surgery but each time I am denied. The reason they have given me has varied over the application time. One moment it’s not available to be sent for me. Another I may be ineligible because I work. But without working how would I be able to ever get this issue resolved? This is a last resort due to it almost being my “time’s up “ for having the money to have the operation performed. Which will require me to travel out of state and those arrangements have been made, thanks to my supportive family. But we are a small family of 4. So I just ask if ANY help can be given. Anything is acceptable, even $1. One dollar can truly go a LONG way to getting this operation. And with it I will be able to go to a university. I did complete college before the car accident which resulted in a few broken bones. But by the grace of God, I am still here. So please, if you can help.

Hi, I guess you could say I’m desperate at this point. I am in a massive amount of dept, have fallen behind on all my bills, mortgage, electric. I have recently been diagnosed with chrons disease. I also suffer from chronic urticaria and angioedema (chronic hives with swelling) which is causing the skin from weight loss and pregnancies to become so painfully irritated. When I say I’m covered in hives I’m not exaggerating. My insurance will not cover the skin removal surgery since I don’t meet the full criteria. Anything that you can donate will help. The roof over my children’s head is obviously way more important than me being in uncomfortable pain, but I’m sick of suffering.

my pay pal is Amandaladin

 

if you read this far I thank you

There’s a lot I could write here.  This is a story, a back story if you will, of this final culmination of loss of joy for life.  You don’t have to read it all.  I’ll probably sum it all up in the last paragraph, so if you get bored, I won’t be offended if you skip ahead.

To the outside world, especially social media, I’m sure I seem peachy.

Sunny photos running with my dogs, enjoying an occasional craft beer, and lots of meme reposts.

Of course, social media is doing nothing for what I’m actually going through, and it’s actually sucking the life out of me. I think it’s sucking the life out of all of us.  Seeing others living life to the fullest, plastic smiles, and happy endings… Yep. It’s all fake.

Growing up in Utah (not Mormon) probably didn’t help my self-esteem.  I didn’t fit in, boys were told to stay away from me, and I was quite the little fat girl until my freshman year in High School.  It took a lot for me to grow into my own skin.  I had multiple eating disorders, body dysmorphia, angsty poetry about feeling alone all the time, cutting, crying, and self-destructive behavior… blah blah blah.  I fought through it, and I came out on top. Not really on top, but better than I was.

Then at 24, I made a mistake and got married.  Not only did I get married, I married a “jack Mormon” (Mormon who doesn’t really follow the book) who promised he didn’t care that his Bishop (Church leader and counsel) told me I was bad for him and to steer very clear.  My soon-to-be hubby also struggled with Bipolar disorder and took anti-psychotics.  I thought I had enough love to “fix” him.  I didn’t.

He lied to me about every vice he indulged in during our short marriage.  It started with lying about porn (which I tried to be ok with), then cigarettes, then he found his drug of choice: alcohol.  This was all in the first 4 years of marriage.  I begged him to just be honest with me, but he always lied again.  Finally, I told him, “If you lie to me again, it’s over.”  I literally had to get the proof to get him to admit he had been lying, so when I showed him pictures of hidden handles of whiskey, he put on a show as a last-ditch effort to keep me and pretended to try and kill himself.  I (at 110lbs) had to “wrestle” a knife out of his hands. Once I called his mother and told her he was a threat to himself, I told him I was taking a job in another state, and we were done.

I don’t know why he self-medicated.  I didn’t care.  I just wanted a husband to love me unconditionally and be honest with me. So, while we were married, I threw myself into work.  It felt good to inspire young people, and accomplish tasks that seemed impossible to others.  I was on fire.  It wasn’t a great job, but I was great at it. I was a workaholic.  I wanted to always be financially independent.

I grew up with a single mom, a biological dad who made little to no effort, and a physically and mentally abusive stepmom. Everything I had was second hand, and my mom worked 40 hours a week to be able to afford that cabbage patch doll I wanted. I don’t remember her name, but I took really good care of her, and my cousins drew all over her face with a permanent marker. I even washed my hands before I played with my stuffed animals. I wanted nice things, and to keep them nice, because I appreciated everything.

Now, I HATE money.  I need it, I want it, and I hate both of those facts.  It’s like I can never get enough.  I can never dig myself out of this financial hole of low paying jobs that squeeze you dry of all your passion and energy, then replace you when you get too expensive. With rent, electric bills, gas bills, groceries, gas, etc., there is hardly anything left to enjoy.

I even pay $800 a month for insurance from Kaiser which has a piss-poor mental health program.  The only breakthrough I had was once in group therapy when I was able to talk through my problems and actually feel heard and not pandered to. When I admitted I was suicidal to my therapist, they had to ask me every day If I was going to be safe from self-harm.  I mean, when I would leave every day, it was easy to lie about feeling better so I didn’t have to check-in and call to let them know I was safe or the police would be sent to my home.  Being suicidal is hard to explain to friends and family but, being admitted to a mental institution… well, that is a real blemish on your record. Like being Bi-polar. Or having cancer. Fuck me, right?

So, I went through the motions.  I followed the group therapy plan.  I went to therapy every week.  I talked about my problems.  I had small breakthroughs, and some days I felt worse. I thought I was getting better, I really did.

Then the shit news came.  I waited to have kids.  I thought I’d feel ready. It never felt right with my ex-husband.  But, then it never felt right afterward either. So, when I started bleeding uncontrollably during my periods, through super plus tampons and pads within 15 minutes, through my pants, onto car seats, onto random chairs… I knew something was very wrong inside of me.

Ten years prior, I was admitted to the hospital with severe abdominal pain after taking the morning-after pill.  I had a blood clot(?) the size of a lime fall out of me. The pain was so bad, I thought I was actually dying.  Now, I’m not a pansy.  I work my ass off in everything I do. I’m not afraid of getting dirty, I do physical activities well beyond my abilities just to prove the haters wrong, and I push through pain.  This pain has only been trumped by one other, and it was a biopsy during an exam.

I went into Emergency.  The doctors did a CT scan (which I threw up inside due to the meds and my extreme claustrophobia from my cousins locking me in a toy chest when I was 5), and all they could tell me was that I had endometriosis. I trusted them.  They said they were scheduling me for a laparoscopy. When I went on the day of the surgery, they said it was a mistake and I didn’t really need it.  I felt defeated, but I just let it go.  I let my fucking health go, because I probably didn’t want to know, and I KNOW I couldn’t afford it.  I put my health at the bottom of my priority list.  This was absolutely the biggest mistake of my life.

Back to the shit news:  8 years later, 8 ultrasounds (all kinds), 5 MRI’s ($1000 deductible), the most excruciating vaginal sample grab during a gynecological exam (I passed out for the first time), and 4 laparoscopies ($1000 dollar deductible each), wish resulted in 2 inconclusive samples, 1 positive for cancer cells, and 1 sample that literally had to be sent to Stanford for examination from an expert who STILL couldn’t tell me what kind of mass was in my uterus. The doctors decided it was a uterine sarcoma… In layman’s terms, uterine cancer.

My oncologist even met with 5 other doctors, and they are all pushing for a hysterectomy because with this particular uterine sarcoma, it’s likely hormone triggered and it will metastasize during a pregnancy.  They cannot remove it due to likely damage to the uterus and removal is inevitable in this case.  BTW, I just turned 37 years old.

I don’t know what to do.  I can’t stop feeling this intense pressure to die.  I can’t see a future without being able to have a child.  I always thought that would be the ONE way I could contribute to the future of our world with goodness and love.  I know all about eggs, surrogates, adoption, etc.  They are all options. They should give me hope, but they don’t.  I don’t believe in myself.

Maybe this is “God” or whoever’s way of telling me I’m not meant to be a mother.  Maybe this is punishment for all of the horrible things I’ve done in my life;  Lying to my parents, cheating on a boyfriend, giving up on a marriage. Maybe I deserve to be punished like this.  Maybe I deserve to feel unloved. Maybe I make this world worse and more unhappy just by being in it.

I can’t stop feeling it. I can’t stop crying.  I’ve tried medications, meditation, therapy, focusing on the good things.. Nothing helps. I don’t want to live.  I can’t even picture my future past every day.

There this place in California.  It’s an inpatient mental health hospital that doesn’t list anything as being institutionalized. It’s really expensive, and of course, insurance doesn’t cover any of it.  Plus, I have no idea how long it will take for me to make a decision about having a hysterectomy, or just letting cancer eat my body. I know its stupid.  I want to appreciate the good things in life.  It’s like I have glasses on with the lenses painted black. I need help.  My family can’t afford it.  I can’t afford it. I need help.  I need this.  Even if it’s the only thing to look forward to.

Just so you know where your help would be going:

$7,000 inpatient program for a week.
$3,000 for one month’s bills
$4,800 in unpaid medical bills

I’m literally begging for help.

This is a story I’ve been too afraid to tell publicly. It’s very very personal, sensitive, and a lot to relive by writing it all down for someone to read.

A lot has happened the past couple years. I went through so much mentally that it affected me so much physically and now I am left struggling financially.

Some parts of this story is too personal to go into detail with and I’m afraid I won’t even be able to tell the whole story other than my side of what I personally went through, because I only know of my own experience and that’s all I was left with unfortunately. And what I know from my experience is that I had major depression and anxiety. I know that I struggled in my college classes. I know I struggled with friends. I know I lost my childhood best friends I had for years until college. I know I fell in love and lost the guy I fell in love with. And I know it all happened right after each other not giving me any mental break or the mental capacity to process it all. I know I was hurting and in pain. I know I felt like I had no one anymore. No one to trust, no one to cry to, no one to help me, no where to go. All I know is what I experienced and how it left me feeling. And it left me feeling like I had no place on this earth. I made a decision that I wanted to take my life. And I attempted to, and failed. An ambulance was called on me, I was sent to the emergency room, tests were taken on me, then I was placed in another hospital room, more procedures were done on me, then I was sent to a behavioral hospital, medicine was prescribed to me, sessions were done, therapy, counseling, then I was able to leave. After a day of being back at my college, and being placed back into the world that didn’t want me and made it clear that it didn’t, it triggered me back into the state I was in. But this time I wanted to make sure that I wouldn’t fail. I was more prepared than ever. Or at least I thought I was. Circumstances played out in a way that God wanted me to know he still needed me alive. One of my friends reached out and had the ambulance called on me again. The whole process happened all over again and even the nurses and doctors were so saddened at how the world made me feel in it and that I ended up back there after thinking things were okay.

Things did get okay eventually. I left the place I was in and away from the people that had negative affects on me. It was so hard to adjust to normal life again. I couldn’t do anything for months. I couldn’t leave my room, I could barely talk to my own family, I couldn’t make friends, I couldn’t go out, I couldn’t get a job, I was just totally completely drained. I never had time to breathe. Everything was shoved in my face one after the other from losing everything I had, to being put in hospitals, to leaving everything I had, to be back home and try to move on from everything that just happened. I didn’t even have time or the mental capacity in the moment to even process everything that just happened, let alone having to be back home to “move on and start a new chapter.” It was all too much. A lot of damage was done. A lot of scars were made. A hurting phase happened. A healing phase happened. And now I really am finally in a better place. I was able to get a job, to make friends, to reconnect with my family, to thank God for giving me another chance to be alive.

But I never realized what that whole phase of my life would cost in order for me to be here today. I never knew how much an ambulance cost and I was taken in it twice. All the tests, medicine, sessions taken on me… Both times I distinctly remember begging my friends to not call the ambulance on me because my dad lost his job and we didn’t have insurance and I couldn’t afford to be in a hospital. They told me, “Your life matters more.” But I still begged them not to. I haven’t even processed how much my life cost until now that I’m really trying to put it together, and I am in more debt than I am able to afford right now. I would never do anything like this, but I really am in a need of help. Any amount would help at all, I just want to be able to move on with my life free of this debt, since this past story of this debt will be kept being put in my face for why I have it in the first place. So here I am, and thank you so so much to anyone who is willing to help me out with this. Nobody really has to, so if you do, I really thank you so much from the bottom of my heart.