Let me start off by saying this is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life. I never ask for anything, (even a shoulder to cry on,) and in doing so I have lost my entire life, almost everything I own, and friends/family have all walked away.
This isn’t going to be a short story, and I apologize in advance. I couldn’t make any of this up if I tried, so please bear with me. I will try to keep it to the essentials.
It all started in 2016. For most of the year I was on and off again sick, (more than usual, as I have lupus.) Sept I took a turn for the worse, & in early Dec, doctors found a mass. Dec 21st, my husband of 18 years left. Abandoned me and our son, middle of winter in Utah, & unable to work due to my health. My son dropped out and got a job. I had surgery (partial hysterectomy + removed mass) on Feb 28th. 2 weeks later I got a job and worked 16 hour days, at the little gas station down the road, just to make ends meet. We were doing okay at that point, caught up from the 2 months before, and settling in to our new life…
The divorce was at mid point in Apr, when he decided to move back. We would only find out less than a month later he only wanted the tax money, he was gone shortly after. Divorce was final in June, which is around the same time I had met someone. It’s also about the same time everything started to crumble. He had a good job with the family business, and I blindly put my trust in him when my Lupus flared up. He promised we would be okay if I took a couple weeks off to rest and find a less stressful job. It took a month. But it was okay, we were making it, but not by much, thanks in part to a drug habit (him) that I was just finding out about. I started the new job on the last day of Aug. It was awesome. I loved it. I had been waiting for months for child support/alimony to kick in, and we fell further behind. I was working to make just enough for the house payment, while his money went to his habit, and dinner every night.
I received 2, ( I think) payments, after having the ex garnished, and Nov 27th our whole world can crashing down. For reasons unknown to anyone, my son’s father, the man I spent half of my life with, killed himself. We did what we could, to raise as much money as we could, to cremate him. Coming up short, his boss covered the rest. My son, just short of 18, went into a downward spiral. I wasn’t to far behind. Depression and anxiety took hold (I suffer chronically), he lost his job and I struggled to keep going, as my relationship was being strained by everything happening around us, PLUS his addiction. The supplimental income that was supposed to help me get back on me feet after being abandoned, having surgery, and getting back into the workforce… Gone. Leaving me further behind financially. The holidays were non-existant, and for the next couple months everything just got worse. One fully unemployed, one working less hours due to winter weather, everything was falling on me. I had missed a bit of work, (Lupus strikes again) and they really couldn’t let me take any more time. I lost my job, just 1 month after I had to get a car, (my $350 beater died.) But the up side was that I could drive for Lyft and Uber. It seemed like we had a shot. Bills all 2+ months behind, house payment just as far. But I had hope.
I wasn’t making as much as I was before. But I kept pushing forward. The steering system went out, while i was driving, and I was in a small accident. I spent 2 weeks pulling junk yard donors apart, putting mine back together, all for a fraction of the cost, which I had to borrow from my dad. By the time I got back on the road to work, it was finally too much. I was working to put gas in. Gas ran out, I couldn’t work to get more gas money, we sold or pawned every last thing of value we had just to eat some days.
The man I am buying the house from (private holding) had lost patience, and we decided forclosure would be best. My plan was to get back on top before the 3 months had come.
On Apr 1st, in a spur of the moment, everyone seemed happy for a bit, crazy day, I married him. I believed the promises of recovery, and thought he really wanted to get better. I was wrong. After months of basically ZERO financial support, piggybacking for free, and leaving everytime the money ran out… he left when I confronted him. For months he would come and go. Show up when there was something to take, make promises to come up with more money if he just spent the little we did have. “Get dinner tonight with the phone bill money, and Friday I’ll give you enough for the phone bill AND the water.” Always leaving us worse off than when he showed up, and always made sure to be gone again, before HIS money showed up.
But there was good news, I had someone to buy the house. I would even get to walk away with enough to catch up all the bills, buy a small camper, pay 6 months of space rent and have a little time to recharge before trying this again.
I packed most of what I wanted to take, sold appliances, fridge, stove, furniture, because that what you do… You know?
The call came last week that the buyer backed out.
There’s nothing left to fight for. I tried so hard…
The house is bare and empty, back in foreclosure, or to sit on the market waiting to sell. No fridge, no stove. Car is getting repossessed this week. I cant drive it anyway without insurance. Disconnect notices are here.
I can’t even put what little bit I want and have left into storage.
As long as that story is, there’s parts in the middle, that got left out… for the sake of taking up any more space in this little box.
Im not sure how I found this site, and honestly I’ve lost all hope. I have no expectations.
I don’t know what to ask for. Everything is so far gone. Nothing is salvageable. At this point I’d be happy to eat more than once every couple of days. We have no where to go, no family here. Headed to the streets.
Anything helps. I don’t want to put a number on a plan then come up short again, only to have lost what I could have used for another plan.
If I could come up with enough for a small camper to sleep in, and a decent little car to pull it around… It’s a good place to start.
Having transportation to be able to work is the highest priority.
So I’ll drop the link here. If you made it all the way to this point, I am already grateful. Anything more is a blessing.