At 26, my life changed in the worst way I could imagine. I woke up to the phone call that my husband had passed away. Disbelief, fear, the feeling of your heart shattering into a million pieces which can be felt throughout every single part of you. My first thoughts was how would I tell my children? My son was 6, & my daughter was 4. Who will walk her down the isle? Who will take him fishing? Who will keep us safe in this crazy world? My second thought was that I am a believer in all things good…Instantly the Bible verse came to my head “For where two or three come together in my name, I am there with them.” So I called a friend & I prayed. I prayed fiercely, I prayed hard, as a person who believes anything is possible with God, I thought surely this would bring my husband back. Unfortunately it didn’t. The day after we buried him & I had to hold my kicking, screaming 4 year old from trying to go with the casket, I felt very nauseous upon waking that morning. Not any kind of nauseous, the nauseous a woman feels when she knows her body isn’t the same. I was pregnant. The emotions were almost overwhelming. Joy, excitement, fear, nervous, & sad that this sweet angel would never meet his/her Dad.
A few weeks later I was bleeding, & rushed to the doctor only to find out that this baby had gone to be with their dad in heaven. Just as I didn’t know how I would make it through 1 devastating loss, the enemy now put another grueling loss on my shoulders. The past year has been a struggle to keep going, but my 2 sweet babies give me the strength to get out of bed each day.
My job gave me 7 paid days off when my husband passed. I went back for a few weeks until the loss of my child I was pregnant with. At that point I had no more time off to take, but I knew I needed to be at home helping my children get through the struggles they were facing each day as they longed for their Dad. My son begged to be home school as he unfairly fought depression & anxiety at just 6 years old. I was off a total of 4 months before I started working again. During those 4 months I tried refinancing my home through my mortgage company Chase, N.A Bank. As most of y’all know, during the Home modification process you don’t make any payments until the process is complete. At which time if approved, they often add the amount you have missed to the principal & start your lower monthly payments once the process is complete. I was sure I would be approved due to my hardship in losing the primary Bread winner of the household. Chase sent me a denial letter 2 months ago in which they did not give me a reason other than saying I didn’t meet the qualifications. I make enough in my current 2 jobs to pay my monthly mortgage until I can get it lowered, but Chase has recently put my home into foreclosure unless I pay the 4 months payments I missed in a one time reinstatement fee due within 30 days, as I must pay before the auction sale of my home. I’m embarrassed that I would ever end up in a situation where I wasn’t sure that I would even be able to keep the roof over my kids head. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Grief is such an overwhelming feeling that demands to be felt, & I pray for anyone else who has lost someone far before their time to go. God bless.