I’m Michelle d from Miami, FL & writing this is almost as difficult as the hardship itself.
First I want to say I know there are people less fortunate that me. Guess I should explain some of my past to understand where I’m at now.
Condensed version, have an amazing “baby” brother (41yrs old) with 4yrs clean & couldn’t be prouder of him. Anyone who knows about addiction, knows how horrible it is for the person & family. My dad dies at 64 from alcoholism, not pretty. My mom & I have always had a difficult relationship. She came to rely on me at a very young age. This played the groundwork for me being the go-to and caregiver for well everyone. Have had a hard time saying “no” & not helping. At times to my detriment & my family.
Been working since 15, except the past year. Been working odd jobs, at this point I’m desperate & even looking at relocation.
Have 3 wonderful children (Pic is me & my babies last Christmas). Nicholas (26) is living at home again, he went through his teenage angst in his early 20’s but thankfully he got it together & now works & back in college. Also have 19yr old twins. Alexandra & I went through a rough patch but all is good. She goes to Dade full time & works part time (She is incredibly smart & stoic). Brandon is challenging right now but he works & is going to EMT school in Sept. (he wants to be a firefighter). They were 3 mnths old when my husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor (GBM), he dies in 2004. This was easily the darkest time in our lives. Can’t even list/describe every messed up thing. Unless you live it you don’t get or understand it. Any good things I could say about it was – my twins, made me stronger & incredible kindness of strangers.
To make things “interesting’ I met & married a neighbor after 3 yrs. Thought it was a sign that we met thru our kids. My house is where all the kids hang out. Was raised that way & wouldn’t have it any other way. He had 4 kids, me 3…were the Brady bunch. Long story short, he was sleeping with the neighbor across the street & pretty much a lot of women. Again, good things – didn’t sell my house & his kids & I are still friends. Since then been keeping to myself focusing on my kids, family, home & career.
Proud to say, I’ve had my home for 20 yrs (10 more to go), put my kids through private school (Christopher Columbus & St. Brendan HS, not cheap) & 2 out 3 Florida prepaid college plans. Sometimes amazed have been able to do this on my own. Last year by the time the kids graduated my bills were almost 8k a month.
I got played off in Feb, right after that I decided to quit smoking (better late than never). When I went to get a prescription the doctor said I was suffering from depression. Found another job but there was so much drama & pressure I broke down crying (I never cry in front of anyone) and had to quit.
Don’t sleep much, I’m not physically tired as much as drained & mentally exhausted. Guess I’ve just been coping alone so long that I’m just overwhelmed & need help. Funny how all the friends and family I have helped are now MIA. But truth be told, I have a very hard time asking for help always.
So now I’m asking for anyone’s help. I have fallen way behind on my mortgage, utilities and medical bills. I’m trying desperately to get back on my feet and can’t do it alone this time.
Please help if you can, thank you so much. You can’t imagine how grateful I would be.