Hello for whoever is reading this.
I am Japanese student, who currently studies at college in the Philippines (Online classes so I’m at Japan right now).
I have had a confusing life, so I’d like to write up a summary about how I have been grown. If you’d rather just want to straight up read the REASON of why I am begging for money, Please do scroll until the end.
So I was grown under fairly normal family, at least that’s what I saw at that age. I was born in Japan, grew up and graduated Elementary School in Japan.
I told my parents one day, “I want to learn English so I would be able to communicate with most of the people out there and I want to have a dream of going around the world.”.
Well my mother, who is from the Philippines, decided to bring me to the Philippines and let me go to a school in there.
So I have studied under International School for my middle/high school. Then I also went straight to the college in the Philippines as well.
Til then, I did not have any knowledge about how “Working to earn money” works in Japan. (Well I tried working in the Philippines, but they denied me for some reasons related with I needing to have a working VISA?)
2020, COVID-19 started to hit so hard. My college was closed, turned into online classes. I was worried of my family too, and Philippines wasn’t the best idea to stay at for sure.
So me and my mother decided to go back to Japan. On end of July, we went back to Japan. Met my brother and my father.
We were living in same condominium room.
After few months of staying in Japan, my parents told me “You should start working in part-time job so you can start earning your own money.”
And I was like “Yeah, definitely. I’ve been wanting to work anyway.”
So I made my first resume, started working in small restaurant in food court of a mall. It was my first ever job, ofcourse.
I’ve had mistakes and such, my workplace leader is little bit rough towards me even after 4 months of me working and I don’t make mistake anymore. But I guess that’s how the job goes.
Sometimes I even had 8 hours straight work, with only 30 minutes of break.
But I don’t really complain about the work, I mean I was surely tired mentally and physically too.
But my main problem comes after.
Which is my Family.
They suddenly changed, or rather, they started showing their true nature?
So it all started with my brother talking to me out of nowhere that he will get out of this house with his wife, he told me that my parents doesn’t have any money anymore so he needs me to start paying on stuff.
So I started paying 450 dollars per month, It may not sound much, but it was so much to me because again it was my first experience of working and I only earn 700 dollars.
But I was going with it, even though my mind was filled with so much stuff.
Because I do have college too, I can only work certain days / certain hours.
But he told me that I am not working enough, told me that I should start working on the midnight til morning.
I said that it’s too hard for me, I just started working for the first time, I also have college classes, and I’m going to have to work in midnight to morning? I will give up if I had to do that.
Then he told me that I was being a crybaby, his wife told me that I was a trash.
I cried on that night in my room, how I can’t express my anger and feeling, my thoughts and those towards them.
But all these were happening, I found myself someone to love.
I met her in a game, but we slowly started getting attracted to each other.
I confessed to her that I like her, and we started dating.
She lives in Osaka (which is around 500km away from my place).
We were going great, she wanted to meet me, so she did.
She came all the way to Tokyo just to meet me.
It was great, her everything was perfect to me, we have almost everything in common.
After few days, obviously she has to go back to Osaka because she’s got a work there.
So I was all sad and those, then day after that, I got talked by the people in my house again.
Now they asked me to pay them 1500 dollars within 2 months.
Apparently it’s a “Fee” of me staying in here for the few months of me not working yet (When I arrived at Japan on 2020 July onwards)
My savings were 400 dollars.
My earnings can not reach 1500. even if I do, It means I would have to pay everything I have and I will have literally, absolutely no money.
It was my gf’s birthday just recently, and my birthday is coming up soon too, and she told me that she wants to meet me again and so she is saving money to come to Tokyo again.
In my deep night I always just wonder and wish I could have treated her better, I mean I am doing my best, what I meant is that I just wish I could meet her time to time, I can definitely do that if I didn’t have to pay all those to the people here.
It’s so hard to explain everything because It will be so long, But I’ve had suicidal thoughts in those times. Holding a cutter was reliefs my heart, I’ve attempt on getting hit by a car, I’ve almost cut myself so many times. Everything was pressuring me, but she always stayed by myside even though she definitely was tired of my bullshit mental breakdowns. So I decided to throw away whatever those suicidal thoughts I had, so far it is working, I don’t got no breakdowns.
But some night, I still have deep thoughts about what my life situation is.
I’m afraid I’d be back to breakdowns again.
But yeah, I think those are pretty much summarized my situation right now..
I’m so lost in my life honestly, I have no money to do anything, I’m trying to save but it’s just going to my “family”. I’m trying to leave this house ASAP.
All I need is a possible of 5000 dollars, and I can escape away at least within end of this year or the start of next year. Honestly it’s not even an escape, I am soon to be send out of this house because of money.
Even a dollar would do so much to me.
Meeting my girlfriend costs about 300 dollars as well.
I recently got a new job related with English=Japanese translation stuff too, I am trying to make a whole new life start. I just would have to escape from here first, possibly go to different place than Tokyo and start living alone. I have knowledge of living alone because I used to do so for sometime.
That is why I am here begging for money.
Anything would do, I would really, really appreciate it.
Thank you so much for reading.