I’m asking for $3,750 for a grave site for the love of my life (Allen J. Bates 12.08.1979-12.05.2017) and to reimburse the money from the funeral (that was used for the funeral) to his children.
December 5th was the worst day of my life; the second worst day of my life was February 2nd, the day the oldest two children of the love of my life told me they didn’t want my help, they never did, and I was “stealing their Dad’s house (despite having been on the lease and all utility bills prior to his passing)…they told the younger two not to talk to me, thus rendering me completely broken. 5 & 1/2 years of dedication and love just gone. I’ve debated posting about this for fear of sounding like I’m throwing a pity party; I’m not. Death does crazy things to people, and children are never to blame. Despite informing them that the landlord had already told me he wouldn’t be willing to rent to kids, they didn’t want me there; I had no choice but to leave. I live on my own now, and the kids are all split up. It’s awful. 5 & 1/2 years of revolving my life’s purpose around for these beautiful, innocent children, and now they think I’m an enemy. My heart is broken.
Allen worked 16+ hours a day, 9 months out of the year, hibernating the remaining 3 months of the year during his off season. I was honored to fulfill so many needs for OUR family, as Allen called it. Everything from filling in and filing paperwork for health care, food stamps, taxes, making & taking them to doctor, dental, orthodontia, and optometrist appointments, urgent care, school registration, behind the wheel registration, taking them to and from school, jobs, orchestra, wrestling, dances, friend’s houses, organizing and planning birthday & graduation parties, baby showers. Everything gave me such a sense of purpose.
All I ever wanted to do was help. I gave without any expectation of getting anything in return, aside from love and maybe respect. Now all I want is for them to be ok. All I want is for them to know I love them, and I’m still here for them even though they wanted me gone. But. I’ll always love them, and I still want to help them.
I used the $1600 from the funeral and the $4000 from the go fund me my boss set up for the funeral. I want to raise $1600 to give back to the kids plus the $2150 for a grave sight for his urn. I can barely afford to live much less save. Please help.