I don’t know where to begin to ask anyone for help.
First, of all My father was the greatest dad ever. He never spanked any of us. He helped us all in need. Let us all moved back home if we needed to. Dad was one of a kind. He loved his family very much and even his siblings and nieces and nephews from the Philippines.
Dad knew how to cook and bake, cater, carve fruits, build things, loved playing tennis, bowling, fishing and also had a very good green thumb.
He sure was a jokester! Loved; I mean really loved taking pictures. Dad has so many pictures dating back 1968 until phone cameras came around. The only drinks he loved was coffee and Pepsi until my husband got him to liking sweet tea. Dad was in the Us Navy from 1968-1994. He retired as a MSC, he specialized mainly in cooking.
Dad smoked when he joined the Navy in 1968 until probably until 2000. He wasn’t much of a drinker. But dad did join the free Mason in 1985. But he was still a Catholic. When we were young he would make us go to church, that’s when dad divorced my mother. Dad became a single parent in the 80’s. Never knew or see if we were struggling. Always had a happy heart.
Dad learned to play golf after he retired.
My Father recently had passed away.
On August 24, 2023 dad texts messages me and says “Can you swing by here for a minute my dear.”
I say “Ok after I get ready for work. What happened?”
He responds “I’m so weak I just a need a coffee”
I go “Ok eat some bananas 🍌 as well”
he says “ok”
“Abby I need help”
I say “ok I’m on way.” Didn’t bother to shower or brush my teeth; I went straight to his house. I live like 5 minutes away.
So I help him get dressed and ready as well looking for his wallet and shoes.
I say to him what’s wrong.
He says “I’m having trouble breathing”.
As we arrive at the Emergency Room, He was admitted right away. Considering he was treated special since he was a Navy Veteran.
They ran so many tests. Gave him breathing treatments. They said he also have pneumonia.
An hour or so goes by. I’m standing in Hallway waiting for them to do some more testing. One of the E.R. Doctors passing by tells me your father has a cancer in his right side lung. They need to do a test on his heart as well. He was asking me if I knew if was getting treated by this doctor. I said I have no clue. Dad lives with brother. At this point I am shocked as Hell. Breaking down in tears. Not knowing he was going through this pain.
Last year on Father’s Day 2022 I had a stroke at work because I was so worried about my dad. My aunt tells me your dad is slowly losing his mind, can’t remember what he is doing. Getting lost driving and so on.
Finally, I knew all those years of smoking will finally catch up to him. Through the years of growing up we would tell him to stop. He would just say “Yeah, Yeah I know”
Dad ends up getting admitted for days. For the time being he was getting tested and treated for the pneumonia and taking the medications he supposed to take.
He was supposed to do a biopsy on Monday. But they couldn’t do it because he had taken aspirin and the medicine needed to be out of his system for 5 days. As we waited for the day to come. They keep treating him. He’s able to video chats with my relatives in the Philippines.
He looked like he was getting better from pneumonia medication.
It was Friday now and they were supposed to do biopsy on his lungs. They weren’t able to do it due to the fact his Heart was too weak to perform surgery.
Now here comes more sad news. The doctors say they can’t perform the biopsy due to the fact he can go in cardiac arrest and can die. Do you want us to try to revive him. Or let him just let him live the rest of his life what’s left.
I didn’t have the heart to sign the papers. Neither did my brother or my 3 kids.
I kept ignoring the nurses phone call. As soon as I left work, my brother tells me.
“ Dad signed the papers and he said whatever is best for him “
I just missed 5 minutes of him signing the papers.
So Dads stays again. Saturday rolls around. I get there after work and they tell me Hospice will be here sometime after 8:30.
The ambulance finally shows up about 9:10 pm. It only took 10 minutes to get there.
My daughter and I meets him near Mayo Clinic where Hospice is.
I originally wanted to bring him to Mayo, but he insisted on Baptist Hospital.
The nurses and doctors were great there.
They tell us he will be very comfortable and will not feel any discomfort.
As the days go by I see he is no longer peeing regularly and the color has gotten darker. I knew his time is coming.
Tuesday 9/5/23 is my oldest daughter’s 32th birthday, my brother and other daughter takes her out. While I stayed with my dad. I grieve quietly as he’s in a deep medicated state. My husband comes and visits him. I notice Dad knew he was there. He move his hand to get his attention.
I had that gut feeling that was the last night I was going to say goodbye to him. I stayed almost 1 Am. Brother stays the night.
Next morning Wednesday 9/6 @ 9:10 am brother calls me and says dad had passed.
I rushed and showered picked up my son.
When we arrived he was still warm to the touch. I kept watching to see if he would still be breathing.
We all stayed there until the funeral home came to get him. We got 4 hours to say goodbye to him. By that time he was starting to feel cold.
Watching him leave was the hardest part to see him go.
Now comes all the stress of worrying about how are we are going to pay for his casket, funeral arrangements and everything else that comes. As well as paying Bills at my place and worrying about who to contact about all his bills too.
Not only to mention my dads life insurance policy was purchased in 11/21. So now they’re saying we can’t give you the money. I’m already balling in tears. No clue how I’m going to find this money.
I had lost my son when he was a baby back in 1997.
2000 my stepmom passing away with cancer.
Year 2004, my husband passed away, two days after my second child birthday. Then 2007 I lose my mom. Then we lose my mom’s brother and sister.
2021 I lost my middle brother.
Now my Father to cancer as well 9/6/2023.
I have experience so many deaths in my lifetime.
It hurts so much. This is the first time. I’m actually experiencing the processing of what it cost. Never knew it cost so much.
But I’m great full Dad gets to be buried and honored at the National Cemetery for the military. That’s one less thing we have to pay.
10,000 dollars, I know that’s a lot. For a casket and funeral expenses.
Please someone help us bury our dad without all these burden.
paypal.me/msabigailmtaylor
Cash app: $Ckretwonder