Hello and thank you for taking your time to read this.
I’m Francesca, a 21yo girl writing from Italy, currently trying to save me and my mom from a vortex of problems:
in the past 5 years we have been struggling a lot after she had to close her shop due to the crisis, debts and financial issues which came from bad advising, frauds and our family as well, getting to the point of having no savings left.
My mom always worked herself to the bone to let me live happily with dignity, we weren’t rich but were able to dine out or go to the sea sometimes. After closing, everything went down the hill and we have no one to turn to, the rest of the family is not an option, since toxic and only a problem.
My father is a bad person: back in the 90’s my mom fell for his charmer side, only to find herself trapped with a monster, he physically and mentally abused her for years, when she used to have a good job, before I was born, he stole a lot from her paychecks, used her name for illicit stuff and signed documents with her name. When I was 3 she managed to breake up with him to save me, but the tribunal decided I had to meet him during weekends so he kept existing in our lives and creating problems, both financial, never paying alimony, while showing off an expensive lifestyle, and psychological, he sexually perturbed me when I was 9yo.
We sued him, trying to kick him out of our lives once and for all, but the psychologist up to determine whether we were saying the truth or not in the end sentenced that a father kissing and caressing a child’s breasts after just hitting the puberty was only me miserinterpreting fatherly love and my mother having exaggerated, so he kept being present in our life, leeching on us and creating more problems
My maternal grandmother and aunt are very similar to him, managed to boost my mother’s debts and create more problems for the shop; they too never missed a chance to mentally abuse and humiliate us either. We talk of the kind of people that would come to me while in bed with flu to explain how my father was right to do what he did and the fact he beat my mother became true only because our lawyer said it happened
The only thing we got from them are depression, debts and a lot of issues. We managed to flee from them and I’ll never go back asking for help, no matter what.
From all this, and much more, the consequences were my mother being overwhelmed by debts, so much that if she gets a job, all the pay would be istantly be taken by creditors, her being broken inside and her health deteriorated.
I didn’t give up, after all I’m young and resourceful, so with the help of a bank and a loan I managed to rent a very small place and job, but it wasn’t enough, so eventually we started getting behind with bills and rent, coming to the point of barely having any food and no heat. The landlord was kind enough to let us stay there more than we could afford, even with light and heating shut down. We had to move again. With selling 90% of what we owned we managed to settle the debt with him.
A couple friends of ours managed to give us a job: caring for his old mother and living with her, the pay would have been given to me even thought we both would have worked, it was perfect, we could have saved a bit, stayed with friends and replenished both soul and mind and maybe I would have managed to enroll to university. This sweet old lady died very shortly after of old age and we were back to the starting point. These friends let us stay in her home but now we really have to move away, we got evicted and they can’t help us anymore since we even now owe them money as well. I got a job as babysitter, and managed to get enough to eat but the kid was enrolled to kindergarten so I’m on the hunt again.
I’m sure I’ll find a job sooner or later, I’m giving my best even given the mental toll, but we got evicted and my savings will last enough only to buy food for a couple of months. We have to leave this place before 10/01/2019 and I can’t sleep to the idea of becoming homeless. I just would like to get the chance to stop, breath, let my mind heal a bit and start again, not living everyday in extreme anxiety.
We moved to the city from the countryside so we could have more chances in job terms, but rent for a two rooms apartment is at least 300/350€, utilities excluded, with a couple of months in advance.
Given how much we owe these friends, bills and what we need to start back I would need around 10.000€. It’s a lot. And I feel so bad for needing it.
My pride screams for doing this, I never thought I would ask people on the internet to help me or for money, but throwing this bottled message while being stuck on an island is the only thing I can think of right now.
I just want to get back on my feet and a bit of relief for me and my mother.
Thank you for your time and I wish you happy holidays