Where do I start, my name is Jennifer. I’m a 43 yr old single woman just trying be independent again for the first time in 18 yrs so this kills me to have to ask for assistance. I’m a bartender and have been at the same place for almost 19 yrs. Shortly after I had to move and live alone again they cut my shifts down. I’ve been trying to find another job that works around my schedule there but it has proven to be more difficult then I expected. I’ve put in so many applications and most of them online because that’s just how it works anymore. I’ve had a number of interviews and thought they went really well but apparently it well enough. I feel I’m not hired due to the condition of my teeth. I’m more than qualified in my profession but most places want a nice smile to be dealing with customers. I was just offered a job so thats good but I haven’t gotten to start it yet. I’ve fallen behind in my rent as I’ve been struggling for a while now. My parents can’t help me. I’ve saved my apartment from eviction once already and now am in a 2nd stipulation. I had to borrow from a not so reputable lender to stop the eviction a few months ago and have him breathing down my back right now too. I’ve had to put extension on my gas bill but only until Friday and had my power shut off the other day so had to pay that out of what little money I had saved for my rent. I need $1000 by tomorrow to save my apartment this month (now its going to be to find a new place to live before this eviction hits my credit which i fear it has most likely happened now and moving expenses because I have no idea what I am going to do or BE ABLE to do) and $2500 to pay the lender back who has been showing up at my job and harassing me messing with other people in my life. Every week that goes by is an extra $100 he charges. I borrowed $2000 from him and he charged $500 plus $100 a week after his due date. I’ve already given him $300 but am now back up to $2500 again.
I can’t take the stress anymore. I have high blood pressure, no insurance and am out of my medication. I have multiple ER bills for going due to my blood pressure and I’m scared I’m about to have a stroke or heart attack. I can’t get a loan because my credit has gone to hell. I can’t keep up this stress and have no where to go and no means to move if I lose my apartment. I’ll lose everything and be homeless. I don’t qualify for or have the time even if I did for state assistance.
My car is a total lemon mechanically and cosmetically, I’ve had to put so much $ into it and now the transmission is going and I need 2 more new tires as they’re about blow. I’m scared every time I go to drive it otherwise I’d be doing uber and delivery services I’ve signed up for during my spare time. But need to renew my insurance and think my license might now be suspended.
I’m at my wits end!!!! I’ve been breaking down every night and am usually so strong and the one everyone turns to for help or a place to crash if they need some time to get back on their feet but now I’m the one who needs help needs and I can’t take the stress anymore!! It’s literally going to kill me! Please please please help me!!! !!!! ! I just want to be OK and sleep at night without the nightmares and being terrified every day!!! I’m at the end of my rope!!!! Anything would be so graciously appreciated and will and do always pay forward when I can!