Thank you for taking time to read my story.
My name is Laura. I am a 20-something-year-old, with no family, no support and simply lost right now.
I need the sum of 5000 dollars, just to live in the next 2 months.
I need almost 30000 – to get out of debt.
I will be focusing on the smaller amount, of course, just to get me by.
I never had the courage to ask for money, as I never felt like I deserved it. However, a few days ago, an Uber driver offered me a free ride (it was pouring rain) and I accepted. They asked me about my life and encouraged me to get my story out, maybe start a blog – so, I’m trying. But I need help.
I was an abused and molested child. My cousins raped me when I was little. However, I still went to their house, because they were wealthy, and we had food over there. I accepted the sexual abuse, for food. My home… that’s a different story – my immediate family abused us (me and my little bro), beaten us to the pulp, destroyed us spiritually. My father is a savage alcoholic. He gambles and the only thing he taught me was: “You are only here to wipe my shit stains and bring me coffee. You are a whore. And you better learn how to steal.” – since I was 8, this was the speech that I was given almost everyday.
I finally abandoned that house, at 19 years old, when my father tried to throw me out the window for being inside the house at 8 pm. It was the first time I had fought back physically, and it was horrible. I managed to run past him, in my underwear in the middle of the city. My mum threw out the balcony some items for me. And I left, and I found these MLM people who promised me the world and promised me that if I worked hard enough, I will make it. Because I deserved it. I could get my mum and my brother and my granny out of that horrible place. Even though, they have all abused me. So, I invested – in a lie, a stupid horrible lie – and got myself in deals with loan sharks, sold and pawned almost everything I had. Just to built something out of myself. However, I was spending 500-600 dollars a month on rent, utilities, the office space, and I also had to take a second job in the office building as a cleaning lady. My debt was increasing. But that’s not all…
Unfortunately, stuff hit the fan… I found myself in an abusive relationship, and one of my co-workers was sexually assaulting me. No one did anything about it. They all said that it was clear that I enjoyed it – the first time it happened, most people in the office saw it. And I was crying, with my skirt torn and started puking. They still said it was on me. I couldn’t handle it anymore. And my then abusive boyfriend kicked me out.
I found myself on the streets and slept for a month, during cold fall, in parks, in the subway – in a new town 500 km from where I lived 20 something years of my life, washing myself in bathrooms and I finally became a Sales assistant, in a mall.
However, I found myself in the new capital with another bunch of abusive people.
While trying to find the cheapest place to rent, I found people who as my room-mates, stole money, my wallet, my clothing and left me hanging. The landlord couldn’t accept it and kicked me out.
And again and again. I finally made it, I had made enough money to share a flat, but with more money, and as awful as that sounds, I started getting out of that poor mentality and found some decent people.
I got myself into therapy (for 3 years and a half now), I found myself better and better jobs, until I managed to get a small internship at an IT company.
My latest ex-boyfriend is my now boss. He is tormenting me, giving me all the other tasks of my peers, while they go out and eat and celebrate and do nothing really. He has started to stalk me, has broken into my house when I was not there, has started following my friends. Calls me in the middle of the night, calls my apartment. According to our therapist, he is either a psychopath or a sociopath. I don’t know and I do not care. The police can’t do anything about it. My work place won’t do anything about it – cause I am too “sensitive”.
I lost my work place, as it’s no longer a healthy environment, as my boss is simply destroying all my projects and giving me the worst tasks, that aren’t even in my responsibilities. “You think you’re gonna find anything better? Stop whoring around and do your job. If you don’t like it, quit.” He has scammed me out of 2000 dollars.. Now, some of my friends have decided that this … is too weird for them, so they stopped calling, replying or anything. Because they were afraid. And they’re right. I mean, I”m afraid…
And now, I have to pay 500$ today, in order to keep my apartment. I have immediate debt at the bank – 500$ next month – cause I couldn’t pay it last month.
I postponed as much as I could, I offer my English skills to make some extra money, I sold again – almost everything that I have built. I am tired.
I am tired of working so hard for one decent good night sleep – no nightmares, no night sweats, no terrors (of dad raping mom, of me being raped, of the beatings etc…). I am tired of working so hard to afford food and decent clothes. I am tired of having to postponing my fucking foot fungus or other immediate medical needs, simply because I cannot afford it.
I am tired of fighting. I am so tired. I have been raped, abused, traumatised, left, cheated on, lied to and people have stole from me. And
I need help.
I can offer more details to anyone who is interested. Honestly, I hope that at some point, I will turn this into a successful blog – that will also serve as a new beginning for other people in my situation. I truly honestly hope that maybe someday, I will help someone exactly like me.
Any help is so much appreciate, you have no idea.
Also, I offer any kind of English support for smaller projects that you might need help with. For free, ofc.
May you have a great day! And thank you for reading this.