I am a 33 year old single woman and I desperately need money to pay my rent before I am evicted and my overdue bills. I never thought I would be in this position to have to beg, but I am desperate for help. A year ago I was self-sufficient with money in savings, but my life has fallen apart since. Right before COVID hit the states, I was diagnosed with Bipolar I Disorder. I was a Special Education teacher and my students had my heart, and I’d spent thousands of dollars on materials, technology, and furniture for my classroom.
I had been prescribed an antidepressant by my family doctor and it forced me into a manic episode in which I resigned from my job, left everything I’d bought and made for my classroom, and cut off all professional and social ties. I had planned to commit suicide. Thankfully, I did not harm myself and found a therapist when I stabilized again.
Then CoVID hit as I was recovering and now I have been jobless for a whole year. I don’t qualify for unemployment due to me resigning when manic. I have applied to countless jobs, but my resigning and lack of references from teaching are cleary making me look unreliable. The hardest part is that nothing made me happier than putting smiles on the faces of my students. They were the closest to family I had. Without my students I feel empty and worthless. Teaching made e feel like I hade a positive effect on the world, and I miss it more than anything.
I am almost out of all my savings, and I had to stop therapy months ago because I couldn’t afford it. I’ve never felt so scared. I’m about to be homeless, and I don’t have family or friends to move in with. I’ve been battling my Bipolar depression for about 6 months which comes with a lot of suicidal ideation and intrusive thoughts. I’m afraid I will NEED to commit suicide, because I have no other option. I desperately need money to pay my rent and keep my home, and I pray for enough to begin therapy again to help me climb out of this hole.
If you have it in you heart to help, I would be eternally grateful. I pray to find my way back to teaching, and I promise that once I do, I will pay it forward to all my students and their families.