I never thought I would be at such a lost and low point in my life, starting in January, I lost the only job that I was not only great at, but enjoyed going to every day, no matter what. Literally 2 weeks before that the woman I thought was the one, who had been inseparable and never had any forewarning that she just after 6 years “wasn’t where she expected to be at 23″… I was in the middle of doing my best to deal quietly with the fact that my whole world as I knew it had ended. Unfortunately for me then the other single thing in my life that I had thought was unbreakable I lost, I lost my job I for the first time at work was completely lost in my own self pity and another co-worker took the opportunity and stole $5. I never saw it as fair that I lost my job because of that,given my state of mind and the ever so slight misjudgment, so at this point in less than 2 months I had had two of the most stable things in my life just crumble before me with no hope of rebuilding. I wish that was it and I had a happy ending. But from there with no job immediately and the other half of the houses financial stability suddenly just gone without a second beat, I crumbled and lost the enthusiasm and just over all spark that had always so easily been just there. All that was left was pain and,self loathing, and pity. I decided, I just needed to plug that void just enough that I would bounce back and snap out of the rut I left myself in, but Unfortunately my way to fill that void was to try and replace what I was missing and mask the paid I was feeling. Of course that failed…for 2 more months I was able to figure out something and hold out long enough to not get evicted right away, until the day I did. And that was yet another blow to my already beaten down soul, I had no family I could stay with, my mom died of cancer when I was 16. My dad was never there in my life anyway, then he remarried and moved 2000 milea away with his trophy family and left me to myself, literally ever since the beginning of June maybe the end of may, every single time I’ve thought I was taking a step forward back to the happiness I forgot was even there, its almost like I’m slapped 3 steps right back and I’m worse off than before, I live in Buffalo,NY and its been a much warmer winter thus far then its been since,I remember. Until the last 3 days, ive been sleeping in a tent ever since I lost that stable house I had grown so accustomed to. I just hope that in some way maybe things can start to realign and I feel absolutely terrible that I have gotten to such a low point in my life that I literally know that if something doesn’t get better soon, even just ever so slightly then I doubt I’m going to be able to hold on for to much longer. I’m so sorry that I’m literally asking for help on a site that seems like it was made to shame people for reaching out for help but if anyone at all is able/willing/and can find it in their heart to help me out, I know from my entire soul and being that I will,never forget the generosity that lit my torch enough to warm me up and let me feel like I’m not all alone, even if its temporary it still means more than I hope most anyone ever has to truly understand.
Thank you for taking little time out of anyones day that has made it this far, especially not knowing me personally at all. It really means a lot, anyone that has gotten this far and,has the ability to lend/donate to my life and the well being myself can forward any and all donations to my PayPal at
Again thank anyone that donates and to everyone else that at the very least cared enough about me to read until the end.