Where should I start?
I love my children more than they’ll ever know. They’ve definitely helped me mature into the Mom I am now. They have worked with me, gone to school with me, wiped my tears, been patient with me, just to name a few things. I have carried the responsibility of parenting on my back all 15 years. I hoped that their father’s, (one for the boys and then 11 years later a different one for the girls) would be more active, but unfortunately it is not so. Currently, although he works as a courier he has completely stopped paying child support and does not offer to assist me off the books; I suppose its because he’s battling drug addiction. The other stays off the books and in hiding. He insists that money is coming , and could never comprehend that I need hands on help more than money.
About me- I worked with Department of Education for 4 strong years before COVID. In that time I transitioned to working from home, I got pregnant and then was laid off while on extended maternity leave. Before working from home, I started doing Uber deliveries to assist me between pay days. It was a blessing to have been able to carry that after getting the boot. Public assistance kicked in and assisted but I still needed to do something to keep our heads above water. I did deliveries into, and during my two pregnancies, working several apps (Uber eats, Amazon Flex, Instacart, Dispatch, Gopuff, Roadie and very recently Goshare) to help make ends meet. My first daughter, I at least had something stable coming in, but this last one, I was all tapped out financially, emotionally, and little did I know-physically.
Nevertheless, I put my construction helmet on and went to work. If I had the gas, I did deliveries in the mornings with my 1 year old, then in the afternoon I picked up the boys and did deliveries in the evening in the case they didn’t have homework and there was no school the next day or my shift would be over a good while before bed time. I felt so bad about this because I didn’t want to take away from them being kids, going to the playground or afterschool activities. I wouldn’t be able to pay for those activities if I didn’t go do the deliveries. Now that I was pregnant again, and literally making enough money only to pay the bills that public assistance aid didn’t cover, I was very stressed about how I was going to provide for this new baby. What are the stressors? My sons feet are growing fast, (size 14 and size 11) all of the children were growing out of their clothes, catholic school tuition, the car maintenance started becoming an issue, with rats eating my wires, my brakes giving out on me, the tolls suspending my registration, and tickets at almost $1k. I had switched my phone carrier from Tmobile to AT&T to MetroPCS in an desperate effort to bring down my families phone bill to eliminate some debt. The car insurance is paid the last day before cancellation, just to give me some time to pay it. Very recently, my landlord has put forward eviction proceedings against me, despite Public Assistance paying their portion and Section 8 paying theirs, somehow nobody seems to know where the money is going and I don’t have access to that information. Why don’t I place the smaller kids in child care? The baby though having greatly improved since being born early, she struggles once in a blue with milk & mucus mixture coming up through her nose; she starts gasping for air because she cant breathe. This makes me weary of allowing a stranger to care for her, especially if there are multiple babies that are being cared for there. The daycare facility closest to me has reached its capacity, and the other suitable homecares close to me are non english speaking. I have been applying to work from home opportunities endlessly so that I can be at home with the baby and at least place my 20month old in day care, however I have received alot of no’s. Asking for the assistance from the fathers, and I get ignored or told to wait until forever (which means never). Though its not ok, its ok… I feel optimistic!
I have hopes and aspirations!
I’ve tried to open a Tshirt business, tried my hand at drop shipping and even opened an online store but it just never worked out… None of them. I always thought maybe I need a mentor. Or simply, some encouragement.
What kind of help do I need.
Financial. The car is what makes me money. It makes the gas, tuition, uniform, haircuts, oil change, laundry money. That’s why I placed it first.
-Car issues. I havent been doing deliveries because recently my tire burst on me on the way to a family event. Thank God it was suttle, and I honestly didnt know thats what had occured when the sensor started going off. Nonetheless, it scared me because I had all of the kids in the car. I was able to fix the one tire but should change all of the tires as I only changed them one time for a set of used tires 4 years into having the car. I still have to return to the mechanic and replace the rotors, and do a wellness check as in checking the spark plugs, oils and such.
School- My son attends Catholic school, and although most of the tuition is paid via scholarship, I still have to pay for uniform, trips, and tuition $100 a month. The girls were offered spots in a great daycare but the daycare requires a registration fee of $500 and application fee of $100 per child for a total of $600 to hold their seat. The toddler has to wear uniform.
Bills and such- I have to finish paying these tolls $2, 014 and the tickets $861 and the car insurance which combines two months sometimes in one lump sum to give me time to pay. Currently that’s $356
Mentorship- Someone who can teach me how to watch and invest in stocks so that I know how to put money in and take it out when it grows. teach me how to successfully run a drop shipping business so that I wont have to do deliveries anymore!
My health- Ive neglected my teeth for maybe 2 years. In that time the tooth that underwent the root canal and then filled and covered chipped. The filling came out and it started eating away at the tooth next to it. I had been experiencing toothaches so bad, they gave me migraines. I couldn’t feed the babies, or even use the bathroom because I was in such extreme pain. I finally went for consultation and after visiting with a dentist whom then gave me a referral to see an Endodontic, I was told the procedure isn’t covered by my insurance and Id have to pay $701 out of pocket.
I am doing my best not to stress. Yet, even as I write this stuff down I see my left foot starting to swell. Its ok. I think we’ll be ok. I have faith. If you’ve gotten this far, your a trooper and thank you for reading. I tried to keep it brief because I can get lost in details sometimes, but that’s it, that’s my story.
Best,
Mommy of 4
Robin
https://www.paypal.me/m0mof4?locale.x=en_US