My name is Tiffany, I am 36 years old and I am married to a very abusive detective and have been for 3 years. Throughout the years, I have been stripped of everything. My job to support myself, my vehicle and my dignity. I have left before and have always been found. I have went to my local police department and due to my husband’s position, I’m always made to look crazy even when my face is busted open and staples in my head. My husband even told his male counter parts that I hit myself with the pan he hit me with and put my own hand on the burner and burned myself.
I have gone to lawyers, I have sought help from shelters here in Atlanta and the help either fails me or I am found and get a beating that is always worse than the last and I am afraid that one day, I’ll end up with a tag on my toe instead of a wrist band.
I have no family, I actually think that is one of the reasons he married me. He knew I would have no where to turn.
He wasn’t always like this. We were together 2 years before we got married and would have never picture him hurting a fly until the first time he punched me when I didn’t get off the phone fast enough when he got home from work then told me I made him do it. As a matter of fact, that is always the first thing he states after he attacks me. “See, look what you made me do”. I still don’t understand.
I have left 3 times. The first time I went to a local battered women’s shelter. As soon as my husband had his detective friends come, the shelter said there was nothing they could do. The second time, I went to my sisters before she died from cancer and he found me and threatened to kill my sister before the cancer did. That was over a year ago. This last time, I found a attorney to help. He actually put me in a hotel and was gone for 3 days. He told me he could point me in the right direction to get a new identity and a safe house until I could get on my feet but on the 3rd day, the day I was supposed to be leaving, he told me he could no longer help me and told me to go home.
I felt hopeless. I still do. I am going to try this again, but on my own. Without the assistance of people who can be bullied or threatened.
I found a organization so to speak that can provide me with what I need to disappear so that he can not find me but it takes money and a car, neither of which I have due to be controlled and monitored, this “organization” can help me get the essentials but just like everything in life, it comes with a price tag.
I know if I don’t leave, he will end up killing me and the sad part about it, he will get away with it.
It’s hard to trust anyone when you realize how crooked law enforcement is. When you can’t even seek help from those sworn to protect and serve even when they know a woman is being used as a punching bag.
Being a punching bag isn’t even half of what I deal with on a day to day basis. The mental anguish of having to walk on egg shells, fear of making a mistake, nightmares of my death and being forced to offer sex on demand. Sometimes it is more than I can bare.
I know i am taking a big risk with putting my life on the cyber world knowing I’m not allowed on the internet and even more afraid of someone he knows seeing it and telling all.
God led me to do this and all I can do is just know that I am in Gods hands and good always prevails over evil.