Dear Sir/madam
Of course I feel very uncomfortable asking for help in this way, I guess it costs me nothing to ask and it’s possible someone may help.
The reason I ask for help is very complicated but I will try and summarise.
I am turning 50 years old this year, I live alone with my young dog, Luna. I am English but we live in Portugal.
I had an extremely difficult childhood and experienced extensive physical and sexual abuse. This does not provide me with an excuse for my behaviour through the rest of my life but it did sadly put me on the path and send me in the direction of the terrible life I then led.
I fell into bad company as a teenager and became trapped in a life of addiction. I was trapped in this addiction for almost 30 years. Although I tried and tried it was not until recently I finally found recovery. I had spent years living on the streets, in prison and in hospitals.
It took many attempts and lots of pain, I not only destroyed my life but I also destroyed the lives of everyone who was close to me.
I am now clean. I do have some health problems but providing I stay fit and well, I lead a healthy life with exercise and a good diet then there is no reason why I shouldn’t be able to experience a good few more years as a ‘normal’ person and be able to put something back into life – to lead a constructive life and perhaps be able to help those who have similar experiences to myself.
With the global pandemic life is difficult for everybody at the moment but it could not have happened at a worse time for me. Although I am now clean and no longer dependant on drink or drugs I find myself awake or alive as a middle aged man living with no recourses, no finances, no family or friends. I have no qualifications and little work experience.
I do have areas I am interested in. For example I love to draw, I also enjoy reading and I love to write. Many people who know my story or know of my story have told me I must write a book. I have been trying but this is not an easy task, especially for someone without training or know how. The truth is, to make my book a reality I would require the help of a ghost writer. I could write the basics of the book but would require professional help to give the book structure and meaning. To help me join together the hundreds of different stories and have a theme of interest tying them all together.
Many people have tried to write books around this subject. Few have succeeded. It is a subject of interest and appeals to a very wide demographic, however for any success it definitely needs to be different, to stand out from the others. Fortunately, my story has been very very different. I have led a life very differently to most people. It has also been very different from the life most addicts lead.
A ghostwriter can charge anything up to £30,000 to complete the work and have it ready to show a publisher – of course with no guarantees anybody would publish. This is for a good, experienced writer with many books under their belt. There are cheaper options which I am sure I will end up pursuing, Self publishing for example, writing an ebook.
Today I find myself in a very difficult situation. I live alone with my dog, Luna. We have no money at all. Some days I have no food. I always ensure Luna does not go without though as crazy as that seems.
In desperation, I have turned to this site. Right now, I would be so happy if anybody could just help me with some money so I can put some food in the cupboards, pay my electric bill, my water bill anything.
I also somehow need to raise money so I can work seriously on my book, at a minimum, to pay for some training so I can write more myself, I also am desperate for some training which will help me find a job when this pandemic is over. The problem is, there are very few jobs and lots and lots of people after them. Most of them are younger than 50 and don’t have the baggage that I have. To get a qualification or some training costs money. I really have nothing. Today I have less than a euro. I have a friend in the UK and she will send me 100 euros in 10 days time. With this I will buy food and anything else I need to pay for.
If the world was normal I would be sweeping the streets, cleaning toilets.. I don’t care as long as I was earning something. I really don’t know what to do.
If anybody could please help me in any way I would somehow find a way to repay this. I just need to get myself back on my feet so I can turn my life around. I have done the hardest part and that is to put my addiction behind me. I am now desperate to build a life. Age is not on my side. I have no time to lose. I have wasted 30 years of life. I have a huge opportunity to now have a life and to make a difference. If I can do it then I can help other people do it, right now I cannot do it alone.
I don’t know how this site works, I just put into google that I was desperate for money and this came up. If someone could help me with food then I would repay them when I am working. If someone can help with more then I will be forever in their debt and I will owe them my life. I would not forget this.
Thank you if you have read this.