Thankful… yes thankful, finding something to be thankful for in all things.
Before last March I had recently become divorced after 30 years of marriage. That was difficult. But then my mother, I think about her each and every day , passed away. That was more difficult.
I had also been suffering severe pain for the year prior which was diagnosed to be sciatica. Pain, I came to realize, was like a madness overtaking my body and mind. Pain became the only thing. Everything. Yes, I was going mad from the pain. Nothing helped. Chiropractors, Acupuncture, medication… nothing.
March, the day before spring break. I remember this date well as an educator for students with special academic needs it was an active time at school. The job, more than work to me, was something that I had struggled to function doing for the past year due to my pain that was constantly in my back and down my right leg. Again, the pain was everything.
I woke up that morning in March and could not go to the bathroom. My body would not let me go to the bathroom. Subsequently I had no feeling (except pain through the numbness) anywhere below my waist.
I went to the emergency room, they did an MRI which was by then excruciating to go through.
In a very short time they came to tell me I would be having urgently needed surgery. It was not only sciatica but a herniated bulging disc that had ruptured upon my nerves as well as spinal stenosis (narrowing of the spine). All I could think was, “Yes please”. Anything, anything that would take away whatever this demon in my body was. I remember the pump of morphine, the utter relief it sent to me. I slept, oh my gosh, I slept for the first time in months.
The surgery was successful to an extent that I do not suffer severe pain, however my feeling did not return. My nerves may repair themselves at some point. That door has not opened yet. I spent 16 days in the hospital. They had an amazing rehabilitation center there.
I worked hard to gain some strength back and was thankful to gain even more humility, becoming familiar with the stroke victims and others that were working to get back to their normal. Though I believe all of us there knew that our old normal would not be our new normal.
I believe all things happen for a reason. This belief proved itself to me again when a 30 year old man arrived in the rehabilitation unit. A 30 year old man that had been one of my students in middle school. I don’t know if I was there to encourage him or if he was there to brighten my spirits by letting me encourage him. Perhaps it was both.
Here I have expressed and shared some of my history with you.
Now the reason I am “begging” for financial help…
I am not and may not be able to return to work, my finances are exhausted. I have two young adult daughters who work for minimum wage and have been struggling to pay the rent for us. We have shut off notices for utilities. Graciously and thankfully, the Salvation Army was able to help us with a utility bill one month and we have used their food pantry. I have been able to get on the food stamp program and the state health care program when my work insurance expired. The hospital put me on their financial aid program as well to help me with the bills I have there and with physical therapy.
Wow. All of these things I am thankful for. This has been a new experience for me as even though money was always tight, I had always worked and we had always managed to get by.
But now the ask is for 1800 dollars in order to get the only transportation we have out of the repair shop before a mechanics lien is put on the vehicle.
I need your help. I have exhausted all other avenues.
Your kindness means more to me than you know. Please, I need your help. Thank you and God Bless You.