Starting, especially starting over, is always difficult, a bit like starting this dialog… However, I have always felt that the first step of a difficult journey is always the most significant, and often, the hardest. This (begging for help) is not something that I am accustomed to doing, and it pains me to put this before you now. I am a senior citizen; at a point in life, where most folks are staring to slow down, settle in with their loved ones, and enjoy their later life. Unfortunately, such is not my story… (And you are here for the story, yes?) (If not, skip the next paragraph.)
Okay – my back story: I was born 3 months early (spent the first 2.5 months of my life living in a machine in a hospital), nearly seven decades ago, to loving parents who (by their age) could have been my grandparents (no disrespect intended). For that era, I was an anomaly; premature infants like me usually died – I was the exception. The “baby” of the family, I was expected to live up to the accomplishments of my elder siblings, my brother achieving his doctorate, and several other accolades. I started out differently, I know now that I am ADD, but then I just knew that I thought differently than other people. Graduated with honors from High School, the attended University, for engineering. Year and a half later, my finances were gone (no student loans back then) so I got a JOB, one of many. Married too young, to the wrong woman, for all the wrong reasons; had one daughter, and more than a few good days that are too painful to ever recall. Life soured, her substance abuse followed, and then I filed for divorce when I could take no more. Someone had to grow up and raise my child. That was a banner year – in the middle of a brutally contested divorce, I lost my job (company closed), lost my partner, my parents both died, and the beloved family dog even died on Xmas eve… could have been a great country-western song, there. Became a single dad, in an adverse situation, but tried my level best to not be the worst parent for my daughter, on my own. She wears the scars well, is now a teacher, is terminally poor, but someone has to love even the worst kids… I had several jobs, became an engineer by working my way into and up to it. Eventually met and spent 20 years with an empowered, driven woman (many more good days), but as all things do, that came to an end 3+ years ago, when I was also reorganized out of my 20 year position. No job and was asked to move out. Thus began the spiral downhill…
At first I did okay, started my own LLC, was lucky to get a lot of work, did well financially, but was lacking in the love and understanding that I missed; I tried to meet someone online and only virtually met a lot of “women” who did not have my best interests at heart. A few had been a bit too good at it, for my good. Unfortunately, about 18 months in, the work died out, but the drains on my income (or lack of it) did not. In record time my assets, my financial cushion, and my future hopes were all gone. Yes, I am a victim of false hope peddlers; I will not divulge my total losses, suffice to say that they were very, very excessive. I do not expect anyone to replace all of that – doing so was my bad choice, and my fault. I will (eventually) make that back, and more. I have risked everything, and now at my financial bottom. And as entrepreneur, I will rebuild. I am currently (and have been for the last couple months) working diligently, again. I am also taking classes on internet marketing, and plan/hope to be successful in that. As for love, I believe that have found my one, but she is now in Europe, taking care of her elderly mom.
My prior faux-pas have run my credit cards up to the max, and because my work is as a contractor (not an employee), I must invoice for my past months work at the end of the month and then must wait (and wait) for the check to arrive. The postal system currently gets them to me 3-4 weeks later. So, I am working, and I will get paid, BUT I cannot get interim funding, so I had no funds available for any of my bills this last several months. I have learned the hard way, that all of my credit cards are shut down now (I can charge nothing) until some past due payments are made, my bank accounts are all empty/ overdrawn, and I have now only a few $$ in my wallet, and I am, quite frankly, scared as heck. I have always worked very hard and diligently, and I am now only inches away from the people who stand at the corner begging for coins. A sobering lesson for future inspiration. I have always been a good person, and have tried to help others (more often than not, the wrong ones); now I must ask for help for myself, to survive, I find that I have very few real friends. I cannot get a loan now, and I will need at least several months’ worth of checks / income just to get ahead of the curve again – this next check will likely cover nothing for the future… At my age, as a senior, I have to do something soon. Recently, I had to cash in my collection of quarters just to get some gas money.
However, I have come here to make a request. I am willing to work, to do anything I can to raise reasonable capital; to make some real cash now! My invoice check will not come in for several weeks, but I will need to pay last month’s bills before I can do anything. I just need some interim support to get my feet back under me so that I may run (and bike) once again. Without cash, or my credit cards, I cannot buy gas, cannot buy groceries, and I have no cash to support myself, nor even my friend’s mom’s meds. Just some interim help* is needed to get us through this and allow our dreams to survive. My landlady has been patient, but I have had one eviction notice already…
*any amount would help, but $1K-10K would help get something paid.
Note: I do aspire, should my classes take hold, to pay off my own debts, then pay this forward, to help others… Any help right now would be most greatly appreciated. Please, help me succeed, help me get back on my own two feet! Any assistance at all would help restore my faith in humanity.
I would like to thank you for taking the time to read this, your generosity, and for your consideration of this request.
For reference, my donation link is: https://paypal.me/bobb37