Dear Internet Strangers,
This feels… really bad to do. It makes me feel like I’ve hit rock bottom, which I suppose I have, really. Anyway, here we go.
I am a university student in the UK and, to be blunt, life is hard right now. Along with the usual stress that comes with university education, I have a few more reasons to be unhappy:
For 6 years now, my parents have been married, and for 6 years, they have been at each others throats. Hearing their fights and shouting from my room night after night has been driving me further and further into a sort of mental hole. As a result, I think I’ve developed some kind of condition. I don’t know what this condition is, but it’s a terrible thing. It ties me up and ensnares me and makes me want to do nothing more than just sleep, because if I’m asleep, then I can’t hear or cause any arguments, because I do blame myself for my parents’ unhappiness. I don’t want to, but it just happens anyway so I’ve gradually come to accept it. Anyway, despite the fact that I always want to sleep, the same condition keeps me up, which meant I would hear more arguments, which would make me feel even worse, which would make me even less likely to sleep. For a long period of time, I was so tired that my usually high grades at school began to drastically slip.
Then, I discovered that there were two things that I could actually motivate myself to do; study and play video games. I don’t know why, perhaps it was because both of those things blocked out the world around me so I couldn’t hear any arguing. I decided that I wasn’t going to let my depression or whatever it is restrict me any longer, so I studied day and night in the months leading up to my final exams in school and managed to obtain top grades and get into my ideal university. Before that study period, I had also gone out into my local area and done every job I could find. The reason for this was that, although I loved video games, I only had an old laptop that could not begin to play the games I wanted to. My family is not exactly poor, but my parents are not the generous type, made worse by their unhappiness. So, after a few months of constant work, I had saved up enough cash to buy a gaming pc. I was so happy. Finally, I had a machine through which I could enter my own little reality, where my parents’ arguments could not reach my ears and my condition could not hurt me. This machine was the answer to my troubles.
However, my joy was crushingly short lived. After going on a small trip with my mother while my father was at work, we returned to find a broken back door and a van speeding down the road with its door half opened. As I ran up to my room, I felt like I already knew what I was going to find there. Or, rather, what I wasn’t going to find. My pc, monitor, keyboard, mouse, even my mouse pad and cables, all of it was gone. My momentary escape from my cruel reality had been ripped away from me by someone the police were unable to find.
I had to move to student accommodation with this horror fresh in my memory, and with the harsh expenses of student life tying me down, and my student loan gripping my future, I doubt I will be able to replace my pc for many years.
That’s why I’m here, asking you, kind stranger, if you will help me. I want to replace that pc so that I can fight back against this condition which has once again closed in on my mind. I am looking for $1200. My original rig was cheaper since I built it myself, but also due to that fact it had no warranty, so I could not have it replaced. This time, I will purchase it from a company that does offer a warranty, so that such a horrible event will not affect me so deeply again.
If you can put anything towards my goal, it would mean absolutely everything to me. Knowing that there are still people out there who care for me, even indirectly, will make me so happy, and I hope that happiness will allow me to overcome this condition one day.
Thank you so much for reading.