Since the day I was born, all I can remember is struggling day to day to just make it though. As a child, we used to move every 6 months to a different town and state. Eventually, at the age of 8. I stopped making friends at my new schools because there was no point of me making friends when in a few months I will never see them again. We moved like this into, I was 15 years old by the time my parents were ready to settle down in one town. I already developed Social Anxiety, but was not diagnosed at the point. My mother thought I was just lazy and did not want to do anything. She did not even think about maybe I have a mental issue going on why I did not want to make friends or even want to be around large crowds. I felt more comfortable been around our farm animals than my own family. As a teenager, things got very hard for me. My mother and father emotional and sometime physical abused me. Even to this day, I can still hear the comments they would make to me, like your fat. You’re ugly. No man would ever want to be someone like you. You were not wanted. At the age of 17 I graduated from High school and moved out of the house, but there was still part of me that just want to hear my parents tell me that they were proud of me. So I started working my ass off, Graduate College. Holding down 2 full time jobs, and even raising my sister’s 2 kids, but it still seemed like nothing I did was ever going to make them proud of me at all. By the age of 27, I could take the sadness and loneliest I was feeling anymore. So I finally when to see a therapist. She listened to what I need to say, and I start to feel like I was free myself, but by this time I was unable to work because just stress from a customer would send me into a panic attack. I end up losing everything I had during the time’s difficult time of my life. I had no idea who I was any longer, especially after my sister decided that it was time for her to stop partying and be a mother to her kids. So she packed them up from my place and moved them back in with her a few states over. I felt so lost and did not want to keep going on, but there was a part inside me that keep to yell at me. Tell me to NOT GIVE UP! You are too strong and important to just lay down now and give up. You made it though way much more awful things than this. Get up and dust that dirty off your jeans and show the world that you are going to be ok. I lived in shelter for about 6 years into I finally was able to get a voucher to help me with a place I could call my own. I have been living here for about 1 year and half. The landlord has been raising the rent little by little for months, but I got a letter a month go tell me rent will be 1100 in November. Right now, The rent is only 925, but 1100. I already struggle a month to make sure I have enough essential to last me the month. I have been working on losing weight for I can be healthier. Not only that, but I have lost around 80 pounds (ca. 36 kg) but I’m still wearing the big old clothes because I can’t even afford to go to Goodwill to get used clothes. This month has especially been hard because I have a service animal, and he needed his yearly check up. We found out he has a hip issue, and he required a shot to help that cost 150 that I didn’t budget out for, but He required it. So even if I had to do without food or something, I was going to because He is too important to me to allow him to just be in pain and uncomfortable.
Writing my life story and putting it out on the web is very scary and stressful, but I require a bit of help because I don’t have any family or really any friends. It’s just me and my dog. So I don’t know what to do right now. I just require a little bit to help me get some clothes that fit me right and food to make ends meet into the beginning of Oct. if anyone can help, I would not be able to Thank You enough. You would be a Guardian Angel.