Good Greetings. I hope this message finds you well.
I’ve never done anything like this before. I was made aware of this site through a YouTube channel & to be honest, I don’t know if it’s a scam or not, but I’m in a desperate bind and need help, which I’m not used to asking for. I like to imagine myself as strong and capable & I have been in the past, but my energy has been so drained over the last few years I can no longer think straight.
I am a small Ltd business owner. I incorporated my company 5 years ago when it was still in R&D phase. Previously to that, I travelled up & down the Americas, perfecting a formula for an all-natural, totally organic insect repellent that uses just four everyday ingredients; it works an absolute treat & it’s my passion. Self-funded through savings & work, my company owes me the equivalent of a substantial house deposit! All was going well until CV19! I arrived back to the UK a day before lockdown was announced. I now believe “coming home” was the biggest mistake of my entire life.
I’ve always wanted to help people I’m a kind soul that has been abused in every way; my kindness always finds a way to play tricks on me, and good deeds come back to bite me in the backside, but I always find a way to keep moving. I am exhausted!
The latest deed to bite me in the backside has finally sent me over the edge, and I fear for my life. A couple of months ago my mentally ill neighbour sexually assaulted me outside of my former primary school; he is the son of a convicted rapist that fled the country during his trial; needless to say, this man must be well-connected! And clearly dangerous. This family are known to the police, yet the father is living happily in his country of origin. Meanwhile, when his son goes off, our street, has to deal with the Terrorist Police showing up en mass! I reported the incident to the police and within 2 weeks the family had booked flights to see the dad, they are due to return in 2 weeks after being away for near on 3 months. What sort of influence has the father been feeding his child whilst in the comfort of their own very different culture to mine!? I’m terrified!!!
I really don’t know how much of my story I should include… I know I’m not looking for pity & it’s doubtful there are many people out there who have experienced the multitude of things I have, so understanding is out of the question, too, ugh!!! What a life! I’m sure there’s a book there somewhere, but right now, I need funds to get me out of the city. I need to move & I’m thinking of the other end of the country, or maybe if this works, I can kiss the UK goodbye once & for all & never look back! Buy a small piece of land somewhere in the Caribbean or Colombia and start my food forest far, far away from all the venom! Just me, my products & my plants would be pure bliss & a dream come true!
Last year, I fulfilled a dream I’ve had for a long time & passed my motorcycle license & bought a scooter. The way we know our world to work is/has changed rapidly. Me being me wanted to explore how deliveries work, so I signed up to different types of delivery apps to test the waters for when my products are ready to be shipped. It was great for a while having a joyful outlet zipping around rediscovering my hometown whilst earning much-needed extra funds, & narrowing down how my company was going to manage deliveries. Here’s the sting – last week, I had a petrol leak (petrol was literally pouring out of my bike, and I could smell & taste that god-awful aroma for DAYS) I could ill afford this leak, and frankly, that is how I came to discover this site, I couldn’t afford the repairs, but neither could I afford to have my bike off the road. It took a whole week to get fixed, and I experienced some cold-hearted carelessness from mechanics along the way!
My business is suffering, my finances are suffering, my credit cards are maxed out, and my mental health is shot to pieces. How have I found myself in the exact situation I was desperately trying to avoid!?
Most of my friends have been blocked, (they were never friends, to begin with, now I’m being brutally honest with myself), and I’m about to block my mum & dad as well; so much is happening simultaneously, and the mental torture is unbearable, it’s all so toxic. There’s so much hate in my life when all I want to do is love & be loved. Why is it so difficult?
Not one person has shown or given me support over what has happened, never mind compassion; it’s cruel for cruel sake; dare I say they enjoy it? The darkness of my thoughts at times frightens me! My thoughts don’t feel like mine! I miss ME!!!!
The gems I’ve heard recently:
“It’s not that big of a deal.”
“If he does try and rape you, I’m sure you’ll be able to fight him off.”
“LOLLLOLLL, you’re suffering from anxiety – get a grip!”
“Working is beneath you.” (make it make sense, PLEASE.)
“You’re not a company owner – you’ve got no money.”
I could go on & on, but I think I’ll leave it there for now.
If you are still reading this, I thank you for spending your time reading my woes, and if, by chance, you are one of the generous souls who can spare some of your funds to enable my escape, I would be eternally grateful.
CashApp – £deliveriesbychar
PayPal – http://paypal.me/doveseiccltd