Running for Our Lives

Hello, thank you for taking time to read this. I am grateful this site allows you to be anonymous because I can’t give a lot of information.

We have been running and running from domestic violence. We have lived all over. I have no family to help us. We don’t stay long enough in places to make friends. We can’t use social media. I am utterly alone to provide everything including security. I am failing right now.

In the pre covid world I was able to do better for my children through this situation. I work constantly trying to make anything I can to provide food, shelter, clothes, security and comfort.

I would have a regular job, mostly working nights. During the day I would work for companies at home doing contract work. I set up some passive income streams. And would do odds jobs I could find. I would collect cans to get the deposit returns. I clean houses and cook for people. I would make soaps, body scrubs, homemade hot cocoa mix, and body butters to sell locally. I live house plants and gardening. We would sell starts, cuttings, vegetables, salad greens, and dried herbs.

I was able to spend lots of time with my children. I could take them to school and pick them up. I could go to their events and games. I could take them to appointments and help with homework. I lost all my sources of income. We had to move. We live in a travel trailer but it needs work. So now we are temporarily in a rundown trail home with the floor falling out from under us.

While making all the changes recommended by the letter. I lost my education, job history, credit and accomplishments. I had to start all over using nothing from the old me. We are in a small southern community with no opportunities, poor wifi capabilities, and very little money flow. Plus we are in the middle of nowhere requiring a vehicle with all resources a good distance away, like stores, doctors, schools, ECT.

I’m working as much as I can. I work on a farm for $60 a day, I try to get 7 days a week. Sometimes the boss won’t let me. I clean houses for usually around $40. I do odds jobs.

I am struggling to maintain even the bare minimum. Gas is too much. Food is too much. Rent, utilities, insurance, phone, babysitters, clothes, shoes, prescriptions, ECT. I’m failing at providing. And I don’t get to spend any time with them.

My only car is breaking and I can afford to get it checked out or fixed. It needs breaks and some other things. They won’t know for until they check. I need help. I can’t think of anything else I can do because I have utilized all of the resources available to me.

Over and over again, little by little, we lost more and more. And we are at the breaking point. Every move was a loss. We would lose belongings and people. For us predictability, normality and stability are greatly desired. Our lives are constantly being uprooted.

I am ashamed that I have to turn to begging strangers for their hard earned money. I am sorry for my mistakes and bad choices. I understand the judgement and criticism. I just don’t know what else to do now.

Thank you for your time and help!