In this moment I am writing this request very emotionally. I say that to state that I will likely delete this request hoping this situation isn’t as bad as I think it is.
When I was a little girl I was molested by my mothers husband. It was a very traumatic experience that haunts me mentally, emotionally and physically till this day. He was over 200lbs and I was a 10 year old child. This went on for almost 2 years. He never penetrated me as I would fight him every time. My mother seemed to not notice my torn clothes or bruised body. And I got good at pretending I didn’t see those things either. Believe it or not, for my 12th birthday I had one wish and that was that he would disappear. Somehow, he ended up being arrested that night and going away to jail for a very long time.
When I was 17 I was having problems in school and my mother sent me south to stay with family. I began to notice my family acting weirdly toward me and whispering about things.
I had a job. I bought a ticket back home to my mother. In my heart I wondered what the snickering was about but figured maybe it was about my stepfather?However, believing my mother hadn’t known a thing, I decided I’d go home to talk to her about it. I did. & she told me something as well. She told me that her step father, was my father.
I thought I could die in that very moment because I knew this man as my grandpa.
I couldn’t believe that my step father would hurt my mother by trying to force me into the same pain. I left home immediately and never looked back.
I’ve been okay on my own. But I am literally on my own. I have not one family member that I can contact for help at all.
I have two degrees although I also suffer medical conditions due to the trauma my body endured fighting off a man 3xs my size. My bones were affected by the weight, pressure and fight I gave, leading to a childhood surgery that hinders my mobility.
5 years ago I saw the man who hurt me and immediately went into shock. I considered leaving the state. I prayed and never saw him again.
Until, about 3 weeks ago. Well at that time, I thought I saw him again. Entering the elevator of my apartment building as I entered into the building. I was sure I was wrong and it had to just be my mind playing tricks on me and a serious resemblance. But I saw him face to face in front of my building as I exited tonight. He was with a female neighbor of mines. The weather was cool so I grabbed a sweater and had the hoodie up but due to how my body moves since having surgery, I’m sure he knew it was me. I had my dog with me and walked off as fast as I could.
I need to move! I know that I don’t want to keep seeing this man and that it is going to do something mentally that I am not prepared to deal with. I can’t even believe that the world is really this small.
I can maintain my rent but I am going to need a security deposit, first or last months rent and moving fees. I know that, that will be at least 3-4K that I don’t have.
I had just started saving for a car in which I have saved almost 1K. I really would still like to get a car because my body needs it. The surgery I had as a child has caused me to have severe Osteoarthritis and in need of having a total hip replacement but due to my age I am not the best candidate for surgery as I am too young and expected to have far more complications than I do now, prompting multiple surgeries-mostly surrounded around dislocating the hip.
I’m hoping that this site will be able to help me because I’m not sure of what to do. While I’m sure 4K would be more than enough to help me move covering all fees, I figure I may as well see if I can get help with a vehicle as well. If by chance your a landlord looking to rent to a tenant in NY that pays rent on time please I’ll take that service over the money. Likewise if you are able to provide a moving service or have a running vehicle your not using those would be a blessing as well. The total including a vehicle I would be asking for is 10K.
If your touched but not able to do none of the above please pray for my safety and peace of mind. Of course my health and better days. Thank you.
(PS I am trying to be as discreet as possible as I just don’t really wish to have the people I know be made aware of my traumas) #MeToo 😢 & #MomToo #HerToo “It doesn’t get easier, you get better!”
I’m just trying to heal. I have shared my story and am not afraid per se, of who I am. But seeing as more than just myself is involved and I do care about how my family feels- although no one deals with me at all, I just really don’t need the extra stress, bad vibes & negative energy.
Besides I miss them and the more vocal I am around them about the families history. The further away from me they move.
I also have cashapp