Hey, my names mark and I’ve probably been going through the roughest patch of my life these last 6 months. My Mom Passed away on Sep 9th 2021 and things have been shaken up every since. I just feel like I lost my dad and mom with here passing, and him choosing to be with some other girl only 3 months after. It sent me to a bad spot and the depression and anxiety was at a all time high. I lost my job at amazon, I lost all my family but my sister, I’m at a place where I don’t know what to do… I’ve fallen behind on all my bills after losing my job. I’m almost 2 grand behind on my car note, just having to take the loan from capital one to help me out during the pandemic pretty much. I’m tired of not knowing if I’m going to have enough money for food. The only thing I have going good right now is I still have a phone that I can apply for jobs and keep in touch with my sister. I was forced to move back home and couch surf with friends just so I have a place to stay, not fun. Cant get a loan cause I have no direct deposit coming in. I’m at a point where I just don’t know what to do… I don’t ask for much but just help on my car note so I don’t lose it… I just neeed time so I can find a job and try and get everything back on track. I am behind on utility bills I could not pay after I survived the rest of my apartment lease working a bathroom guy job for 2 months before I moved back to my home town.it seems like no jobs are calling back and the ones I get interviews I don’t hear anything back. I feel so embarrassed even making this post to beg for help, but I also feel like I don’t have many options left. I just hope someone out there feels my pain of feeling like scum in the world.. just like I’m a pain in everyone’s ass and that’s all they see me for right now cause all I can do is ask for help. Eating one meal a day isn’t bad it’s better than no meal, just the stress of everything is really getting to me. I’m trying to get out of that “ I’m worthless and shouldn’t be living stage “ now. Hopefully one day I can look back at this and laugh about how I had to overcome the most crazy situation. My mom and Gradma taught me well, but some things are just tougher than others and I feel like I’m just losing that battle to life…but I’m trying to keep my head up and headstrong. Hopefully one day I can get over the hate I feel like I have for my dad for just leaving us. Like he was just leaving us for dead when he blew all my moms life insurance money. It’s still enrages me and I have to tell myself that it wouldn’t be worth doing anything bad with actions. I’ve always felt like I didn’t have a ordinary life with all the family coming over for Christmas thanksgiving… but I realized I’m a unique person with a unique life from others. Sometimes it’s just hard to grasp losing my mon and Gradma within 2 years. It’s like I lost it all… but I know they wouldn’t want me to just lay around a cry all day. That’s why I’m working to get a job and make cash wherever I can. I just don’t want to end up like my friends robbing people and scamming cause that’s just not me. I just can’t be a thief or petty, it’s just not in my blood. I was raised to well with great grandparents. I do hope someone out there can help me in these horrible times, honestly it would mean the world to me. I’m not sure if 400 words express the pain I have been feeling. I hate having to act okay and smiling to people. All I want to do is call my mom and tell her about all the bullshit that has happended.. or tell my Gradma about are favorite shows and how they have changed. Talk Texas rangers baseball with them . They were the only people that really understood me, I’m just not outgoing like most and makes me seem mad at times. When really I just don’t know how to show emotions or ask people for help. It’s a struggle everyday, but I have hope that there’s is always a light at the end of a tunnel. I have to be sucked up in life cause I promised people I wouldn’t fail, whether is me dying trying. I feel like I’m all over the place with this request with so much in my mind. Probably sounding crazy haha. But that’s how my life’s been going, hope others hasn’t been like mine. I wouldn’t wish this shit on anybody. But the only place to go when you hit rock bottom is up. That’s all I’m trying to tell myself just to keep going. I’ve also fell behind on my credit card bad, luckily I haven’t had my credit go straight to crap. But if I lose my car it might. All I’m asking for is help with my car and money to survive for a month or so till I can get a job and get started. Thank you in advance, and god bless. The world needs everyone to show a little more love and not hate! I don’t know a exact number of what I need but it is close to the 1,000 dollar range.
https://paypal.me/Beezy5995?locale.x=en_US