Hello I am a 41 yrs old HIV positive woman. I am emotionally and mentally abused by my husband. I am financially trapped. My lease is not up until July and I have some bills that I would like to be paid off. I have an credit score of 760 and would like to keep it that away or higher. Exiting this relationship will damage everything because my name is on everything. Even the car he is driving. I have no key for it. In 2010 I found out that my life had changed and prayed for death but I kept waking up. I didn’t believe love could be in my life. It did do I thought. Yes, I am upfront about my status. The person who gave it to me didn’t give me a choice so I choose to lead with that. I got married 2 years later. The day we got married I found out he has been unfaithful to me. 1 year to be exact he got her pregnant. I can not have children. Lost 3 and the removal of a tube, and left with a damaged one. So children will not be. She loved him, stocked him, and harassed me. I loved him and forgive him. We relocate to another state. He ended the affair and she lost the baby. I believed that he would see me and love me. He did not. I stayed watching my life being filled with sadness. He gave the casino most of our money, time with other women, and blame to me for all the things I lacked. It has gotten even worse the other women were flings but this one he loves, and got pregnant. He praises her in front on, talks to her in front of me, and blames me for what he is doing. I can not survive on my own right now. I will consumed with bills. I know I allowed all these things to happen to me out of fear. Truthfully I am better off dead. If prayers were heard year ago my self worth would be in tact. Honestly I can’t no more. He told me yesterday that he was mad at me because I killed our baby because of my HIV medication and blood pressure medication. All I could do is cry. I am crying now just writing this. He was the cause at that time for me being on medication. I was positive but cd4 count were still good I was at 900 which a healthy person ranges at 1500. But he cheated on me with a woman who had a sexually transmitted disease and didn’t tell me. She did and when I went to my doctor I was at 300 the doctor told me most likely a cold would take me out. I had to be put on medication. Right now my count is 1100, and I am undetectable. So health wise I am okay, but truly not sure now because of this overwhelming feeling that I have and uncontrollable emotions that I have are harmful to the body. He knows that I can not leave. I can not afford to. He suggested us to get an townhouse so she could live in the basement. Lord please have mercy on me. I need help to move on. Please anyone. I know to start over cost a lot and for me it will be at least 150,000. I would not dare to ask for but had to said what I want. What I need is to break my lease. I pay 1250 a month. My lease is up in July. I want to pay it off be then, car in my name is about 16, 000, credit cards about 4,000, and student loan is about 7,000. I received a degree in Medical Office Administration in 2014 but no doors has been opened for me and yes I’ve applied. All I get is no experience or skill set but no one will give me a chance to get experience. I am a caregiver I take care of the elderly. Yes I am good at it but the field doesn’t pay a lot. I work hard though I manage and train the other CNA. Just don’t pay enough for the area I live in Maryland. I know I have had enough and ready to start over. Please could someone help me. I am desperate for help. I am sharing my shame for help. It can’t get no lower than this. Nothing beats a fail other than a try. Thanks for your kindness and time reading this. I attached some of the items you all asked for along with this. Have a wonderful day.