Greetings generous and thoughtful community. I have a chronic mental health condition that has caused extreme hardship, pain, and hospitalizations throughout my life. I have spent the past decade in-and-out of various institutions in trying to better myself and construct a more meaningful and manageable life despite my disorder. I consider my destiny to be that of helping others who have suffered as I have while also seeking solutions to our nation’s current mental healthcare crisis. I have been managing mostly on my own for quite some time now, though a series of traumatic events and relationships in the past six months have led to a downward spiral that I am having trouble escaping. I am awaiting acceptance into an intensive outpatient program to begin restructuring my life and receiving the loving support I both need and deserve. In relation to my exacerbation of symptoms, I lost my job two months ago and have been too unstable to re-enter the workforce. Further, I will not be able to begin work again until after this hospitalization program as it is 45 hours/week M-F. My family, who does not support my illness, is running out of funds to help me back on my feet. More heartbreakingly, as mentioned, they are running out of empathy or understanding for why I continue to struggle. I am the product of emotional neglect. I have been through years of therapy. I take my medications as prescribed. I volunteer in my community and work in the healthcare industry (psych specific) when I am well. I have never reached out like this before, but I am at a true loss. Your support would mean providing me food and paying rent for the next two months – as well funding my medications and outpatient costs – until I am, once again, capable of re-entering the workforce. I will be running out of money within the next few days (as I type, today is 6/29/23). Even more, it will mean helping me to get well so I can get back to doing what I do best and love the most – caring for others in crisis. My condition leaves me feeling awfully alone and terribly misunderstood, often resulting in self-harm and dangerous, unwanted thoughts of suicide. My family wants to “fix” me. I cry and pray daily for the acceptance and understanding that may never come.
A few tidbits to perhaps humanize me outside of my current situation and debilitating illness:
- avid long distance runner; I live for the trail! It’s one of few things keeping me going these days.
- proud resident of the PNW
- animal rights and mental health advocate
- registered nurse
- proud dog momma
- poet/writer
- Taoist
- pescatarian
“Thank you for seeing museums in me where I saw empty hallways” (pinterest.com/michaelbliss)
I have attached a picture of me on a really good day. I’m ready for a genuine smile again. I know it’s there. One baby step at a time. Blessings to you and yours.
Paypal ID: PayPal.Me/katmicnor