I finally got the guts to leave and now I’m left with nothing.
I met a very, very, charming, sophisticated, sexy man, and I really fell for him hook, line and sinker. Part of why I fell for him so heavily and so quickly was because I was just turning 40, and I was really, really eager to have a child. When we spoke about that, he promised me that we’d have a family together and he built up this great fairy tale and it just seemed too good to be true and in fact it was.
Very, very quickly he got his hooks into my life and very, very quickly it turned from absolutely amazing and whirlwind, and then cracks started to appear and he became very emotionally abusive and very critical and more and more frightening. In the end, I knew very quickly, actually within two months, I felt my life was threatened and I was seeking help from the police, and it escalated very quickly.
It’s a kind of classic scenario. Of course at the time, you don’t realise it. You’re in love, it’s a new relationship, your pheromones are going crazy. We were whirling and twirling, he was very, very charming, and it turns out he’s got a grandiose personality disorder and narcissism. And you know, the molecules would change in the air when he walked in, and people would gravitate towards him. He had this personal power that was incredible and everyone was fooled. A-listers, personalities, QCs, everyone was fooled. I was a bit like a bunny in the spotlight. He was so dynamic that one minute, you’re on top of the world but then next minute, there’d be a flash and he’d become very critical of me and all of a sudden, I’d have done something wrong.
Then keys would go missing and just little things like that, so I started to feel quite unsteady and unstable and always blaming myself. He became very jealous and obsessive and accusatory if I got a phone call from anyone, he was critical of my friends, my family, and in the end he didn’t want me to see any of my friends so very quickly I was isolated. He made life at work very difficult, he was calling maybe 70 times a day and in the end, I lost my job. I didn’t know if I was coming or going. I thought I was going mad.
I kept thinking right up until the point where he actually smothered me in my apartment that I could fix it and I was really bewildered by what was happening and I was really ashamed to talk to any of my friends. I’d left a relationship to be with him. So I’d already alienated a few people and I’d put so much on the line to be with him that I was very embarrassed to admit this was going horribly, horribly wrong. My parents and family live interstate so they weren’t by my side so much. He was always in my ear, the phone was going a hundred times a day when I wasn’t with him. He was always confusing my thoughts, telling me I was wrong and making it up and also, my self esteem had eroded so quickly.
I tried to go see a friend and he threatened me with death a fire burning all my stuff putting pictures on the internet and even hurting my parents. He put something in my gas tank to ensure my car wouldn’t start. By this time I had one friend left- I told her I would randomly give her bags of my stuff to hide for me at her house – I would have to do it gradually or he would know I was planning on leaving. That plan failed when he did notice a trash bag. A week later he had thrown out vacuum cleaner at a light fixture and it cut me on my fave and hands amd I knew this was it! I had to go! One night I got a shower and called an ex boyfriend to come get me and he did. I was able to stay with him and his new girlfriend for a week (but I have to go) – I have no money, no paperwork, no pictures, no clothes, shoes or product. I feel terrible asking people being that this is all my fault or even putting people in the spotlight and asking them for money. I’m still hiding out praying he doesn’t locate me but I can’t make moves without anything. If you could help me with anything I would greatly appreciate and I will get back on my feet and be able to repay you in any way you deem necessary. I just don’t know what to do