My family and I have lived paycheck to paycheck for as long as we’ve been together. It was easier when rent was cheaper and wages more closely reflected the cost of living. However, we are now at a point in our lives where we are making more money than ever, but still cannot break the cycle.
In all, I probably need about $20,000 in order to take care of everything.
We are several months past due on our rent, and though our landlord has been incredibly generous and has not started eviction, I am terrified of the day his patience runs out. I have been paying him what little extra I can to try to catch up, but we have not been able to even pay him a full month of rent since the new year started without getting behind again.
We have a large secured loan (with our only functional car as collateral) that is eating into all of our “extra” funds with which I would be paying him from, along with a smaller personal loan I got so that we could afford Christmas presents for 2022. Our other vehicle has some repairs needed to become functional. I am required to have car insurance by the secured loan provider, but have not been able to provide it. My best friend’s mother generously provided Christmas gifts and money for us during the holiday season, as well as paid for my son’s preschool because I was behind.
We have other debt that we could pay ourselves if it weren’t for these loans. We have also been eating a lot of doordash, which sounds like a luxury – however, this is because the stress, anxiety, and depression building up over the last year have been causing us to be ill so frequently that we have been unable to keep up with cooking and cleaning. Because we’ve been consuming so much fast food, we’re also physically ill due to this, which compounds the issue. The police were called about the state of our home, and we got it spotless in 24 hours with tons of help from friends and family – and the stress of our situation has taken the same toll and now I am afraid that my children will be taken away if this doesn’t change.
I opened a GoFundMe just for the rent issue several months back and applied for rental assistance programs. No funds were ever donated and we were rejected from all programs. I have exhausted the utility assistance of my spiritual center, and I cannot ask for more money from my personal family friends.
I have been considering bankruptcy; I asked my mother-in-law if we could use her retirement fund to pay everything off and then pay her back over time, but they have taxes to pay back and can’t afford it; my father had to sell his home to avoid defaulting, so he is unable to help. I have no one else to turn to. I keep telling everyone “once this is paid I shouldn’t need more help” and we keep getting into situations where we’re ok for a couple of months and then something happens to put us back into the same situation or worse.
I can’t keep living like this. It’s not fair to my children, it’s not fair to our roommate, and I can’t think of any way out of this situation except to kill myself, but make it look like an accident so that my family at the very least gets the life insurance.
This may sound like I am just laying it on thick, or trying to sound more desperate than it really is, and I know that there are people literally living on the street and in desolate conditions. I know that, to some, I am incredibly lucky and my situation isn’t as bad as it sounds. But I am scared of what the future looks like if I can’t get out of this cycle.
Please, PLEASE, help my family.
Also, I know you said the text should be unique, but I have been posting this in a few places trying to get as much coverage as possible, just to hopefully get at least one successful donation.