It’s a hell of a thing. It will give you the highest highs and bring you to the lowest lows. It will make you feel like you’re invincible, yet also make you wait, adjust and allow your moral compass to be warped, and twisted. It will bring you an incredible sense of joy but can also hurt in a way that could only scratch the surface of twisting a knife in your heart. Its even worse when just the presence of this thing can intoxicate you and reframe your perspective. You know that you would be smarter to walk away but the energy and the pull is undeniable. Damned if I do and damned if I don’t. The craving, the passion, the feelings. I’m talking about love and the things it makes you do.
2 years and 3 weeks ago I met a man and right away, the attraction and passion was undeniable. It was a feeling like no other. I didn’t know much about him but I did know I wanted to always feel the way he made me feel at first. He said he fell in love with me on day one. It took me a couple of months.
At the time, I had no idea that he had a drug habit. I learned about it and tried to stay away from him. After all, I had never done hard drugs in my life and I vowed I never would. He was arrested shortly after and I figured it was a fling and over and I would move on. He insisted on remaining in contact so I humored him as much as possible and it wasn’t long before we were talking daily and he had me putting money on his accounts to call and talk to me. I wasn’t the only one. I wanted to believe he loved me unconditionally and, as a strong, independent woman, I figured it wasn’t that big of a deal to send a few dollars here and there. It turns out it was a very big deal.
I over extended myself, wanted to believe he was ‘the one’ and ignored all the red flags. The main thing he took from me was my peace of mind and security. When he got out of jail, I was on track to repair my credit and start the process of buying a home. After all, the only thing I’m looking for is stability, security, and love. I started to see small purchases on my debit cards for under $10 at a time and he would lie right to my face. Then it progressed to amounts between $20 and $60 and, the whole reason I’m coming here and asking for money, is that he took my phone and deposited a bogus check for $1535 into my account then proceeded to make ATM withdrawals using money that didn’t exist in the first place. After going back and forth with the bank, I was told that I was out of luck because we lived together. He would watch me change my account information, and he even drove me to the DMV to replace my ID after swearing up and down that he didn’t take my cards or wallet. He did and I found several photos of my ID’s, debit and credit cards, social security card, and the same of other people.
He was recently arrested for stealing my car and on top of that, he had apparently been trafficking GHB. (Date Rape Drug). The last incident that happened was 2 weeks ago when I was on track to get a place of my own and we stayed at a hotel overnight. I had decided to leave him and it would be the very last night before I was to drive him back to our home-town. At some point he decided he wanted to sleep with me and I figured it would be one last time. At some point, he shoved a syringe inside me and it wasn’t very long before I was feeling loopy and unable to move properly. I managed to make it to the bathroom and while I was trying to clean myself out, he made his move. He took my car, phone, wallet and any way I had of communicating with the outside world. The hotel room had a phone and he even broke the phone cord before leaving. I believe he gave me the date rape drug in order to take off with everything.
The next morning I was trying to recover by checkout time and I managed to get the bag of clothes i had together and I waited for him and he didn’t show back up. I called the police to report my car and property missing and the officer laughed at me and told me ‘if you let him drive it in the past, he’s entitled to use it whenever he wants.’
To me, thats like saying if I let someone sleep with me once, they’re entitled to sleep with me whenever they feel like it. That isn’t right.
Right now I’m at the point where I’m just tired. I’m tired of being broke and homeless. I’m tired of working to try to pay for a hotel room and not having much to show after the fact and I’m tired of having wasted my time with someone who only cared about himself. The worst part is, I had decided to be done with him before but every time, he gave me just enough love to get me to stay. I’m asking for money to help me get back on my feet and turn this situation around enough to get stable. I feel that I could also write a whole book about domestic abuse and manipulation and if I had money for that, it would be amazing because I could actually show people how to turn everything around but I’d have to be stable first. This man played with my life and I lost.
This is real. I have been having a hard time and just need to get to a point where I can stop spinning my wheels, write and start a movement. I want to teach young people about how to identify and create boundaries for toxic people. If you would like to chat with me about this, I can be reached through email. email@example.com
I need to raise at least $1500 to get on my feet but would love to raise $4500 so I can be settled long enough to write my book and speak about it to schools and other people who have been through similar traumas.
My Cashapp is $Jackandcallista
Venmo is @CallistaCascade