I guess I will sum this up and make it fast because it’s hard enough to live this life than to have to talk about it too. So life was ok for a while my kids were and wife were taken care of but I drank, way too much. It was the only wAy to deal with how I felt, I’m bipolar with anxiety and depression and drinking was the only thing that helped. Only it made my life worse. I lost my kids and gave up. Got hooked on drugs and just lost myself. But my wife always stuck by my side. We were high school sweethearts. So I ended up going to jail and was in and out of jail. Finally just asked for my time. So I ended up serving a little under 4 years, of a 6 1/2 yr sentence. So I could never hold a job for very long because I couldn’t get my mental health under control and so going to jail and then completing long term treatment for the drugs I got out with a new lease on life. Only I came home to my wife who lied to my face habitually telling me she will be back and never coming back because she had been cheating on me and after almost 17 years she left me. After all the lies and the cheating I stuck with her because I was more afraid of being alone than anything. My god my worst fear was dying alone. And now I am finally clean, but had to give up permanent custody of the kids who now hate me because Im the piece of trash father who abandon them, I never had a dad and I hated him for that, and here I turned out to be exactly like him. So anyways I get out of jail, and it’s like everything has changed, nobody knows me or has time for me, I have zero friends and my family has no time for me. For all intents and purposes they have written me off. So now my ex who got knocked up by the same guy who a few years earlier I found her writing letters to him in jail, but I couldn’t get a phone call, and I think was I that bad. I have only a few pet peeves and that is loyalty and honesty. Which I seemed to be the only one who believed in it. Anyways now I’m free to live life how I want But everybody has turned their backs on me and the only one who seems to care is the father of my cheating lying ex who raised me since I was 17. And I try to move on and I can’t even hold a fast food job for more than 2 months because I don’t receive help for my mental issues that seem to rear their heads at the worst times, every single day I fight the urge to give up and just disappear, because I might as well be dead to everyone else and I feel dead inside, worthless and unworthy of being loved or being happy. So couch surfing and living in motels and sleeping in the streets has got to stop. I have been trying to get my disability back so that I can maybe get a place of my own but can’t afford a lawyer and get no help to even get in touch with a doctor since I’m not the states problem anymore I receive zero pitty or help. I can’t get food stamps or even a decent job because I’m a felon, and apparently being homeless is acceptable for a person like me. I don’t know where else to turn, I don’t know what else to do, I just need help to get my life back, and I just want a 2nd chance to prove I’m worth Loving, and that I deserve to be happy. I just can’t do it while I’m a homeless jobless felon. Please somebody help me, anything at all would be more than enough. I dont expect to get rich or ever live above my means which are minimal. But either way it goes I guess that’s life. And it’s hard when the ones you live are better off without you. It is what it is, I suppose. Thank you