Hi all! I am a 28 year old woman with two young kids and more invisible physical problems than I EVER thought I would have. So the short of my long story is… I am waiting to have back surgery, and then hip surgery after that and am (and have been for a few weeks) unable to work and provide for my babies like I have provided their whole lives. I am pretty much bed-ridden at the moment, which is SO very different than my everyday life just a few weeks ago. (I wasn’t even this bed-ridden during or after I had my babies).
So here’s the long story… I have been a server in restaurants since I was 15 years old. I even went into labor with both of my kids while working. I always loved my job and always worked as much as I could (6-7 days a week) to give my babies the kind of life I never got. I was a foster kid since I was born. In and out of foster care til the age of 7 when my parents rights got terminated, then permanently placed in the foster care system here in Oklahoma. It was definitely a bumpy ride. Moving around a lot, different schools all the time, bad foster parents. A lot of foster parents only kept kids for the money so they didn’t take care of us like they should have. I have 5 other siblings and in the beginning, they tried to place all 6 of us together and that NEVER worked. So we all got split up. I began running away a lot and was ALWAYS in trouble so I got moved down by Texas, 4 hours away from anything I was used to. So I was in a tiny town, with absolutely nothing. School was always my “get away”. I always did really good in school and even had scholarships when I graduated. I messed up all the scholarships because I started doing drugs after graduating high school. But I always worked and supported myself. So when I moved back to OKC, I went to jail, because of the drugs, and hated it SO MUCH that I haven’t touched anything like that since. So I have always been so hard on my body physically (along with severe physical, mental, and sexual abuse growing up).
So, for the last 4 years, I have been working in restaurants as well as doing demolition/construction work. So when the pandemic happened, I completely stopped working in the restaurant business and went full time doing my construction stuff (which I love so much). So in September of 2020, I finally got my own business started ( YAY!). I got a demolition business started and have been doing so good with it. So I knew I always had problems with sciatica along with my hip, but in April of 2021, something happened (I have no clue what) that made my pain completely unbearable and made it pretty much impossible to live my life like I used to, like I can’t even drive down the road to the store. It’s so hard to walk, let alone take care of my kids. Even if I had a chance of being able to even clean up a job site, I definitely wouldn’t be able to even drive to the job site to work. Even if I wasn’t in unbearable pain to just be in the drivers seat, it is definitely not even safe for me to drive. I have absolutely no reflex in my knee or ankle. There is a delay in what I tell my leg and foot to do, and what it actually does. This condition has made it impossible to live my life and give my kids the life they deserve. So when I finally got in to see my orthopedic doctor, I was told that my herniated disk in my lower back was now completely blown out and not just herniated. So that means that my sciatic nerve in my back is completely pinned up against my spine and the swelling in that disk won’t go down with any treatment other than surgery. I should be having surgery in the next couple weeks for that. As for my hip, there is supposed to be cartilage in between the upper femur and the hip joist. My cartilage was compared to, by my doctor, as “the siding on a house blowing in the wind”. So somehow, over the years of abuse and abuse I put on myself physically, the cartilage that is supposed to be there is barely hanging on on one side. So my hip is pretty much bone on bone with every movement of my right leg. Which, of course, has to be the same side I’m having my sciatic problems on. So after recovering from my back surgery, I will have to have hip surgery. I have ALWAYS been a very independent person. Having to grow up fast has made me be that way but I have grown to love being that way. I love the thought that my kids will grow up and be able to say how strong and resilient their momma is. I love teaching them that I will be there to take care of them, no matter what. This has made it hard for me to do that, but I will figure out how to regardless. So that’s why I’m here. Why I spent so long writing this. I’m running through my savings with rent and bills and everyday staples. School is about to start in a couple weeks, for both my babies this year (my daughter is starting pre-k this year and my son is starting 2nd grade). I’m HOPING I will be able to get back to work in about 4-5 months. I’m praying everyday that that’s all the time it will take. I’m in need of about $6,000-$7,000 to keep my bills up to date and get my kids the school supplies (and maybe even some new school clothes, but that’s not really a necessity). I appreciate anyone who took the time to read my story and hope I can get some help from someone with the means and heart to help out someone who is down on their luck like me. This was definitely unexpected in my life. I have never been one to open up about my life like I have here, but I am way better at writing than being able to talk about stuff like this.
PayPal is: loselby@hotmail.com, @LahrhindaSmith
THANK YOU!
Here are photos of my MRI’s of my hip and my lower back to prove I have problems. Any other info needed to confirm the realness of my story, shoot me an email and I will provide what I need.