I have no idea how I ended up this way. I’m gonna be transparent as possible. I’m not even sure if this is legit or anyone can help me out but I have nothing else to lose. Here’s a story of how my normal life turned into something that should only happen in the movies. It all started back in 2021 during the pandemic. During that year I still had my job and I was doing okay. I had everything. I didn’t have problems with money. I had a lot of friends. I was in an amazing relationship with someone I met on Tinder that surprisingly lives 3 mins away from my house. Fate? Could be hehe. I used to have really bad friends. The kind of friends that introduces you to drugs and doesn’t even care about your wellbeing. I stopped hanging out with them because I can see myself going nowhere with them. Out with the bad and in with the new. So the only friends I have that made me felt like I exist were her friends. The girl I used to date and wish to date again. They were good people but I never felt like I fit in. They had money and I didn’t. You can say she and her friends were loaded. Family inheritance and business owners. Me on the other hand? Im just someone who works from a 6 to 6 shift offshore. You have no idea how much I envy their lifestyle. All I wanted was to be like them. Financial stabel and had more than enough by the end of the month. Don’t get me wrong. My job gives a good payout but it was difficult to save cause I had a lot of bills to pay. Day by day I keep on imagining how my life would be if I was like them. So one day when I was working offshore. I snapped. I couldn’t take it anymore. There must be other ways to get money while enjoying life. Cause lemme tell you. The offshore life is like prison. We are practically zombies working there just to put bread on the table every month. There must be other alternatives on getting money than this. This is not the life I want. You start questioning your own life when you are surrounded by people who is living theirs to the fullest. So when I got back from offshore. I started doing my research on how to get money. So I came across forex. At that moment on I started trading. I was determined to get a lot of money from it because most of my friends trade and if they can do it. I can do it too. I was so determined to be successful like them. Whatever money I have I’ll put it in. I honestly didn’t have the knowledge for it but I got introduced into groups for free signals. It was a pretty good start for me. I did okay at first. I made my first 1k in a few weeks. IT FELT AMAZING! But things started to go down here afterwards when I started to see my capital grown. It made feel greedy. For someone who has a normal life and not much money to spend. It surely made me felt like I needed more. My capital gotten bigger and my ego grew too. I started using bigger lots because I wanted bigger profits. I was on a roll! It felt like I own the market. I didn’t think about the consequences. All I could think of was money money money money. But on one particular day. Everything just went down hill. I lost everything in a single trade. It took me quite sometime to build up my capital to 5k+. It made me depressed and it felt like my life was over. I didn’t have any money left because I stopped going to work after I started trading. I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t wanna go back to work because I was so tired working like a zombie. So I came up with a solution. Since I felt so confident that I was pretty good in trading. Why not I just borrow some money from people. I can pay them back anws with trading. So I borrowed money from a friend of mine and started trading again. I did a revenge trade because I wanted to get back my money. I put my emotions into trading and all traders knows that you shouldn’t do that. So I traded with the money I borrowed and I lost it again. So I borrowed more money from other people and I kept losing the money over and over again. I felt like a failure. I felt like I can never be in my friends shoes. I wanted the life they had. So I came up with an idea. Maybe I need to have a bigger capital to trade. So I borrowed from loan sharks. It was a risk I took just to have build a life I want. But I ended up losing it again because I was still determined to get back every last penny I have lost. I started to get addicted to forex. Whenever I lose the money. I will borrow again and again and again and again and again. It turned me into an addict. At one point I stopped because this is legit not making my life any easier. I did absolutely nothing afterwards. I felt depressed and started to day dream all day long thinking how my life would be if I didn’t screw up the first time. All of a sudden I received a text from the person I borrowed. Asking when can I pay. I panicked! So I told him I will pay you soon. I started receiving messages on different days by the people I borrowed from. From that moment on I knew I’m in deep shit. I calculated everything and the amount I saw made me cry. From losing just 5k of the overall profit I earned to owing 30 thousands dollars in total. I LOST MY MIND! I LOST MY SANITY! Im in a real shit hole. Until this very day people are chasing me asking me to pay up or suffer the consequences. If borrowing 30k from a single person its okay. Its possible to work out a payment method like payment monthly or something. But this is 30k in total from a lot of people. A few hundreds here and a few thousands here. Honestly I dont know what else to do. Im bankrupt and in serious dept. The people I owe started talking on social media. Exposing me to everyone saying I owe them money. Word spread like wildfire. All my friends turned their backs on me because they felt disgusted with the amount of money I borrowed. The girl I was dating felt the same way and she left me just like that. Without hesitation. I can’t go back to working anymore because they fired me for not attending work anymore. I got slapped in the face by my own mom because she knew what was going on. She said to me “you better sort out your problems because I do not want anything bad to happen to this family because of your stupid mistakes”. With everything going on. It felt like I have dug a hole to die in. I can’t apply for a bank loan because I have no work. I wanted to kill myself countless of times but I didn’t go through with it because it wont solve anything. All I wanted was to have a life like everyone else. I just wanted to make a lot of money to prove to everyone that I got my life sorted out. But instead of making a lot of money. I end up owning people a ridiculous amount of money. I dont know what else to do anymore. I have gave up on life. I shouldn’t have chased the life that wasn’t meant to be mine. I should have been grateful with what I have. I’m seeking help from anyone out there. I wanna turn my life around. I want my old life back. I just wanna settle all my dept as soon as possible because I’m living in fear. I have nowhere else to go. Im here begging for help. The picture I have belongs to 1 of the people I borrowed from. Please get me out of this dept before I really kill myself because I have given up on life as we speak 😔