Hello to anyone who is willing to take time away from their loved ones to listen to, what most people would consider me to be…. a lower. Sadly I agree with them…😔. Ive always felt like I’ve fallen short in just about everything I do despite how motivated or driven I am/was. Although they won’t come out and say it, all my family feel the same way. I’ve been the trouble maker, I’ve been depressed, I’ve attempted suicide….I can’t even do that successfully! So for my whole life I’ve been viewed by the people directly related to me and those who just happened to be around me as someone who is damaged and ultimately an outcast. So fast forward 15-20 years and here I am. My name is Michael and I’m a 30yo male grew up in Southern California for most my childhood until at the age 15 I was shipped to Mesa AZ to finish high school living with my father whom I rarely had seen and who I had absolutely zero relationship with. After graduating in 2008 and working for a couple years I was living a very unhealthy and destructive life so therefore I decided to move back to my home in Escondido CA which I still reside to this day. I dont want to bore you with my whole life story so ill just get to the point. As mentioned I’ve never quite lived up to my potential which im reminded of every time I see my mother or my sister (who just so happens to be the exact opposite of myself making her the golden child who can do no wrong literally). Now to say times are tough right now is an understatement. In fact most of the population is feeling this during these crazy political and social justice times. Ontop of all that Covid-19 has killed 200,000 Americans and nearly 7Million Americans have contracted the disease. Now I am lucky to say that I have been able to dodge contracting Corona virus so far and I’m extremely thankful to be able to say that. Due to the Corona Americans across the USA have also lost their jobs including myself. Some of us never being rehired due to permanent closure of the businesses among others. I was so relieved to learn about the $1200 stimulus package all Americans were to receive and it came at a no better time. I unfortunately was not able to benefit from any of the unemployment benefits that were offered to employees who qualified to receive them which ended up paying a lot of people more money than what they were making before the pandemic while working a 40hour week. I never received those benefits or payments because I was forced to use my unemployment during the months of November 2018 to July of 2019 therefore I didn’t have any money in my unemployment account. Ouch!! Now that I continue to have a real problem finding work ontop of being forced out of my grandmas trailer due to me exceeding the time limit one is allowed to stay (90days) because I’m not an elderly person (65 and older) I don’t know what else to do. I can barely pay my car insurance, phone, my share of utilities. Not mentioning gas, food, and other personal expenses. Now I have to somehow come up with something like $800-$1200 so I can rent a room somewhere to basically buy me another month to keep grinding and try and figure this out so that I can finally prove to my loved ones that I can be someone they can be proud of and someone who they aren’t embarrassed to have in the family. So here we end up in a place nobody ever anticipates to find themselves and yet despite feeling embarrassed, ashamed, less than, pathetic, I still have to post this with the hopes that someone will read this and have the means to be able to help out with whatever you can. Any little bit counts and will be more impacted than you can imagine for my life and my overall self esteem and confidence. For anyone who can’t afford to donate I completely understand and thank you all the same for taking your time to read this and I wish you all a amazing and blessed day, week, month, year! For anyone suffering from or who has lost a loved one to Covid-19 my heart goes out to you! If we promote love and kindness then we all can grow closer and unite as one instead of feeding into all the hate which ultimately drives us further apart. Treat your neighbors with love and kindness and look out for each other during these trying times. Again thank you all and God bless.
My PayPal account is
– Michael P