I moved down to Texas because I thought it would be easier. I don’t think my life has been an easy one, and it is hard to come to the terms with how I’ve resorted to begging. I’m working two jobs in order to save money to get out of Texas and back to Washington.
I feel like I am going no where fast and the town I am living in is a sinkhole. I work two jobs, I am twenty years old and didn’t start working until I was eighteen. I feel like I was very sheltered from the beginning, we have moved from place to place, sometimes I’d only have been in school for weeks at a time and then we’d move. This lead me to dropping out of high school. I used to be a straight A student, honor roll, I was going places.
I don’t feel like I have the support group I thought I’d have when I came to Texas with my dad. I’m not even living with him, I’m living with my ex-stepmother. The household is so toxic and I feel like it’s tearing away at my mentality, I hate who I have become here. I feel like I am going to die in this town and I want to get out.
This is the same town my uncle lives in. He molested me when I was 11, and groomed and raped my younger sister all her life. I came out about it years ago when I was 16, and no one believed our uncle would do such a thing, and my sister was too scared to speak up, she denied everything. So for years up until this last year, I was treated like a vile freak, a black sheep, and it broke me, I love my family but I hate them so much.
I don’t know why I came down here. But I want to get away and I don’t know where to start, I’m trying to save but I’m already paying on vet bills and hospital bills. During summer I got really ill while working as a carhop at sonic,and it got to where I could not move without my muscles locking up, I’d work 13 hour shifts and at the end of the night I’d just cry. We make four dollars an hour so I’d try and work as hard as I can to make it worth it, but all it got me was a 3k hospital bill, they had to pump me with bags of saline, if I hadn’t gone to the ER after my shift I would have died or gone into a coma.
So now on top of my bills I’m trying to relocate, I don’t think I can take another year here. I believe going back to Washington will be better, I have supportive friends and family up there, and I already have accommodations for living set up, all I need to do is get there and right now, I am utterly lost. I’m still working at both sonic and my cashier job. But I need help, I’m going to sell my violin and best clothes and see where that gets me but it won’t be enough.
If anyone out there is willing to help. And know more about my story, I am here. And I’ll appreciate it more than anyone could possibly know. Writing this I feel a little hope, that I can make it out, but I need help.
Not with the hospital bills but getting OUT. I need to get out of Texas, I’m going to Washington because I have a support group up there and the minimum wage is higher up there I can save more and pay off my bills slowly but steadily.
I am trying to at least save up 1,000 to 2,000, for three months rent, and down payment, as well as air fare for my disabled emotional support pet and the last of her vet bill for her leg amputation.