Hi, my names Deasia and I’m 17 years old. I came to this site seeking help from others to buy personal hygiene supplies (very important because I’m a lady) I don’t like smelling bad. I honestly don’t really know what to say so maybe I should tell you guys a little on my past. April 22, 2001 the day I was born, 6 months later I go to live with my ex stepmom she was wonderful towards me.. she gave me anything I could ever want. I soon became blinded by material items slowly loosing site of what’s important. I have amazing communication skills but I’m so shy it’s useless. For example if I were to go to a party the only thing I’d do is stand in the corner somewhere watching everyone laugh and have fun. All the happy people dancing and singing along with the music.. great views from my corner. My corner where nobody can bother me. Not that I don’t want to be “bothered”. “Why won’t anybody look, talk or interact with me? Am I intimidating? Ugly? Too pretty? What’s wrong with me for people not to be my friend?” Plays over and over again until I hear my brother calling my name so we can go home. This way of thinking I didn’t understand, I don’t understand a lot of things but this is one of the harder ones. I’ve always been an introvert, why? I have no idea but I hate it because I love to make people happy.
Last october is when the depression hit. That deep dark place- almost like my corner. I’ve been depressed since 13 but October hit me unexpectedly. My marijuana intake increased causing me to loose what made me.. me
I digress. October was one of the coldest, chilliest and bitter months of my life. And I don’t mean that literally. October was my loneliest month, everything became so closed in and confusing I just had to jump. Right off the deep end into a shallow grave. I marked my arm 16 times. 4 horizontal, 3 misc, 2 vertical and a 7 letter word carved deep in my beautiful melanin skin.
What happened after that? Nothing for approximately 3 months until I had the courage to tell my mother and it went from there. Months of therapy but nothing helped the depression. I tried to kill myself 4 times to this date.
Im slowly seeing the better things in life, I’m excited!
Theres a lot more I could tell you but it’s not relevant to the situation.
I’ve been homeless for 3 months