Hello and thank you for taking the time to read my story. You are truly appreciated. I have been with my husband for 23 years. We have a 14 year old daughter and we are unable to be a family at this time due to his terminal illness. My husband was diagnosed with colorectal cancer 9 years ago. After multiple treatments and surgeries, his condition became grave. The disease progressed to the point that he is now bed ridden and I could no longer work and take care of him alone. I turned to his family for help and WOW!!! I’d like to start with a little back story.
My husband and I dated for about 2 years before moving in together and eventually progressing to marriage. We were living in an area just outside of Atlanta and his parents live in Valdosta (his birth place) and he began to visit less as we were nurturing our own family. Over the years, tensions between his mother and I became higher and higher. My husband had always indicated that he never wanted to stay in Valdosta. He said that it was ” a trap and people get stuck there” which is why he chose to come to Atlanta for his internship during his college years…for better opportunities. We were thriving and happy. In 2009 we had our beautiful daughter and we were at our most successful points in life at that time.
Years into our marriage we hit a rough patch. We lost all of our romance and we began to drift apart. We even separated for a few months. It wasn’t until we decided to work on our marriage and reconcile that I saw him (just 3 months later) that I was SHOCKED to the core! It wasn’t until then (2011) that I realized that something was physically wrong. He had changed so much. Weeks later he became so ill that I insisted that he go to the emergency room and during that visit, they found his tumor. It was then that my heart just sank and I realized that his lack of affection, lack of attention and even angry outbursts were due to illness and had nothing to do with me at all. I felt terrible about our temporary separation and I just wanted to do everything to see him well. Unfortunately, I was now the villain in his family’s eyes.
My husband went through a radical surgery that left him with multiple rounds of chemo, radiation and ultimately a permanent colostomy. He recovered, went back to work and we repaired our relationship. We became so much closer. Just a few more years later, we found out that the cancer had metastasized and it all went downhill from there. This past year, he has been hospitalized several times with sepsis (I was told that he wouldn’t survive), another radical surgery, having to learn to walk again, and then another setback that has resulted in the doctors saying that there was nothing more that they could do and they put him on hospice.
When this happened, I was now the only earner and he needed constant care. He can’t walk, empty his own ostomy bag, empty his foley, bathe, make a meal or even turn in bed. While the hospice company was visiting 3 days a week, it just wasn’t enough. I asked his family for help and this made things worse. Suddenly, I was accused of neglecting him. Eventually, the hospice agency transferred him to Valdosta where his retired parents could care for him around the clock. Since then we’ve had less and less communication.
This past week, I was served with divorce papers. My husband is literally on his death bed and can’t even turn over on his own and I’m certain that he did not initiate it but rather forced to comply since he is at the mercy of his mother. It’s not possible that my husband initiated this. I spoke to him about it and all he says is he just wants peace. I’m CERTAIN that this is his mother’s doing. I under stand that she’s grieving also, but she’s taking it out on me in particular and it’s definitely not fair to our daughter. The situation has become quite contentious.
Since all of this, I’m now an only parent with a teenager who’s dealing with this also and desperately trying to figure out how I can afford attorney’s fees and the mortgage. Our family has been fractured enough and I certainly want to maintain some semblance of normalcy for our daughter. I desperately need to be represented but I also need to maintain our home. He needs to be relieved of the pressure. If I’m not represented, I may be stripped of my marriage by default. Also, I might be forced to allow visitation which would require his parents to pick her up and take care of her (over 260 miles away) and neither she nor I want that because they have been abusive to her in the past to spite me and my husband would have no means to intervene. I really need the legal help to navigate this scenario.
I am honestly and earnestly begging for help so that my husband and I can get through this horrible situation and still maintain some decency and dignity without sacrificing our ability to maintain our home and our dignity. The attorney I consulted is requiring a $2000 retainer fee and $375 / hr after that. This would be a devastating blow to me and my daughter and affect her terribly in these already trying times. Your help would be so greatly and graciously appreciated. I heartfully and humbly ask for your help so that we may address this matter. I was given 30 days to respond and 7 days have passed prior to me finding this site. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story and considering any donation. The following is my Paypal if you should be so kind.
https://paypal.me/geminiward?country.x=US&locale.x=en_US