Hey potential donater for those interested I have really my life story written below but for the short and sweet version scroll to the bottom:)
Hello generous person reading this, my name is Peter and I’m asking for $400 for groceries which I’d be extremelyyy grateful for and I’ll explain to you my current financial circumstances and how they came to be. So I came from a pretty broken home, to summarize my father was a bipolar alcoholic and my mom was a co dependent self centered person that eventually cheated on my dad. Also my older sister has a Machiavellian personality and my parents invested into her in several forms where I was honestly left on my own. So being around this crazy household a couple months before I turned 18 I couldn’t take it anymore and I went to live with my grandma and aunt for a few months. Surprisingly though, I guess they both didn’t want me around even though I asked nothing of them, and they were giving me the elbow to leave. When I originally asked to stay with them I asked for shelter until the beginning of the following year. So that’s what I did I left exactly on Jan.1 not a day more. That’s when I started sleeping in my car and working at a grocery store and basically since I did want to try and rebuild a connection with my family I decided to give each of my parents one year to see if it was possible; while simultaneously working on my own endeavors. After living in my car for about 6 months and working occasionally with my dad he offered me to stay with him to save money(he thought I had an apartment). A year went by where I was working to get into a coding school which didn’t happen and although my interest has always been to have multiple startups my dad never really believed in me and pressured me to get into a union. After I failed to get into this coding school was when for 3 months this pressure from him persisted and I couldn’t take it and I left back to my car. I got a job at another high end grocery store cities away from any family I have and honestly it was great I was doing what most 20 year old do and had a great time partying with friends and was genuinely happy even though I was in my car. That lasted for about a year and a half and during that time I rented a storage unit where I was buying different items to optimize my living situation such as a cooler that’d keep for 5 days, different charging devices, etc. This put me in a bunch of debt but my thinking was that it would pay for itself once I was fully able to cook for myself. It didn’t pan out but that’s what I was doing and looking back I would’ve done what I plan to do now and get a van where I can cook/sleep. Anyways after attending some self development event since I felt like something was bothering me, I wanted to rekindle the relationship with my mother after having no contact for 2 1/2 years at that point. I really always had that plan but the event pushed me to try it. My intention for breaking contact with my mother was to try and get her to self reflect instead of victimizing herself as she does. Anyways after a few months of visiting her in my childhood home she got when my parents split, I moved in with both her and my sister(which by the way they persisted I move in with them for months so I did). After the first few months of a honeymoon phase went by things eventually went south. I’d call her out when she’d lie and try to manipulate me but she’d just stay quiet and wait days and pretended like it never happened. Also up until this point in my life I’d always held an inner “Russian” mentality and preferred to self destruct my life into the ground rather than give my parents any social currency for my accomplishments. It was also to try and make my parents self reflect; but it never happened and this resulted in me doing nothing for 9 months of my life(a lot of this was subconscious btw). Fortunately though I found the articulate answers I was looking for through the content of two psychologists (I’ll list at the bottom for those interested) that explained the psychological damage and by extension limitations of narcissistic parents(The material will really resonate with you if you would characterize yourself as being rather grown up in childhood and viewing yourself as the black sheep of your neglectful family).
With that chapter of my life done my plan now is to work retail for a year out of a van I plan to get and join lambda coding school part time (full time if by chance I get the money to do so) also I’d slowly pay off the 12k in debt that I gathered from buying the gadgets which should take about a year.I applied to the retail company I plan to work for but by the time I actually start and get a full paycheck I currently don’t have enough money for groceries so think you can spare a few dollars?
Adult Children Of Emotionally Immature Parents- Lindsay C Gibson Psy.D
Recovering From Emotionally Immature Parents- Lindsay C Gibson Psy.D
This is a playlist I’ve made of the most helpful videos of Dr.grande I’ve found that’s consistently updated by me and made to be seen in chronological order. I recommend reading the two books first as dr grandes material really puts the final pieces of the puzzle: