My name is Taryn, and I’m 37 years old. After many struggles, I’m finally on the path to living authentically as myself. In December 2025, I made the difficult decision to separate from my husband of ten years. It all began back in 2016 when I started therapy, hoping to address my overwhelming anger and irritability quickly. Little did I know how long and challenging this journey would be. As I sit here today in February 2025, I realize it’s only now that I truly understand who I am.
Through therapy, I uncovered deep-rooted anger that stemmed from years of emotional abuse by family, friends, and loved ones. I had no idea that I was living with the effects of narcissistic abuse and emotional neglect. Growing up, I thought it was normal for everyone to care for their younger sibling(s) and to be their Mother’s caregiver. I still remember the hurtful comments from my youth, like being told at 12, “You look like a slut!” just for wearing pants and a button-up red shirt to church. During my marriage, and early adulthood, I felt utterly trapped, believing I had no choices or freedom; everything felt like my responsibility, and I felt alone in that burden. This is when I learned negative self-talk to protect my feelings. Growing up, my belief became, “Nothing matters.” Little did I know what that would mean as I got older.
As I continued my therapy journey, I received more diagnoses and began taking various medications, but this was also when the seeds of healing were sown. The road was long and often felt insurmountable. There were weeks when I wished I could just disappear from the world. I came to understand that I had been living with severe depression throughout my life. Even as an 8-year-old, I struggled with suicidal ideation and anxiety, having learned only to survive.
After dedicating so much effort and many tearful days to my healing, I have finally come to see and love myself. I know, now, that saying things like “it doesn’t matter” and “nothing matters” was me telling myself that I don’t matter. This is not a healthy way to feel about myself, so I made a change. I continue to work tirelessly to overcome my negative self-talk and to remember that I matter. I am important. I deserve love. I deserve happiness. I am safe. It breaks my heart to think about how long it took for me to reach this point. I am grateful to finally feel safe and know I have myself in my corner.
However, I now face another significant challenge. While I am separated, I desperately need to finalize my divorce. It took my Ex over a month to allow me the time to draft a separation agreement, and every time I attempted to schedule a time to work on it, he would find an excuse not to cooperate. This situation has left me feeling like I’m back in a role where I am responsible for everyone else’s choices—something I have been working ceaselessly to escape. My therapist wisely points out that my Ex has weaponized his negligence, and it has taken years for me to truly learn the importance of establishing boundaries.
However, my Ex frequently violates those boundaries, yet says he is proud of my developing them. He tries to manipulate me into taking on his burdens, often by disguising them as money making opportunities. This is to shift his responsibilities onto me. The longer this separation persists, the more I feel trapped under his influence. I remind myself that I am not responsible for his choices, just as he is no longer accountable for my medical bills.
It feels frustrating and disheartening because he always manages to find a way to productively erode the boundaries I work so hard to maintain. I am in search of a divorce attorney who can fight for me and navigate this complicated situation with my Ex, who avoids accountability with remarkable skill. To move forward and reclaim my independence, I need financial support while I get myself established.
After my Ex and I married, we evaluated our income and expenses, leading us to the decision that I would leave my job to manage our home, especially since he earned significantly more. Due to ongoing health issues, I made the choice not to have children, and now I realize just how wise that choice was.
I cope with various health conditions and am working toward securing disability benefits. Unfortunately, the Social Security Administration has not updated their records, leaving my application in limbo. I have a lawyer ready to assist me as soon as the SSA updates their information.
Despite these limitations, I am committed to healing from my past and striving to be a better person each day. I am passionate about helping others recognize that they deserve to love themselves and find happiness and safety. No one should ever endure abuse from family, partners, co-workers, friends, or loved ones.
I kindly ask for your help in raising funds for a strong divorce attorney to assist with health, car, and vision insurance, as well as medical costs to support my transition and growth in 2025.
I wholeheartedly believe that with time and perseverance, the lessons I’ve learned and the growth I’ve achieved will inspire others to bloom into their true selves. I look forward to witnessing that journey unfold and being a part of it.
Remember, you deserve love. You are worthy of happiness. You deserve to be treated with respect. You deserve to feel safe. Thank you for listening.
You can help my journey via Cash App: $Taryn4B
You can support my journey through PayPal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/RippledReflections